An Aunt's Response

I had quite of few responses and reactions to my last post and I wanted to post a comment that my aunt had posted on here and another comment she had left on my Facebook page as well. This was something that I did not know about her past. It was really touching and there were some powerful things said. I can't help but share it. Please read and I hope that you can be impacted as well!

I'm Rachel's aunt Amy and I was bullied when I was 16 years old. No one would do anything about it to help me at the school...I got the standard, "Just ignore them and they will stop." The girl that was the instigator had a mom on the school board...go figure. Well, they didn't stop. They kept bullying me until I was in a deep depression and wanting to take my own life...I thought that was the only way to make it stop and have some peace. The final straw was one day when I went to school and someone had scratched, "Go kill yourself" into my locker. I never set foot in that school again. The moral of this story is, it WILL get better. It sucks and I know it is hard to go through, but life WILL go on and you WILL find happiness. I'm an old lad now...well, over 40 at least. :) Thank God, high school doesn't last forever! I changed schools for my junior and senior year and found happiness again. That is where I met Rachel's uncle, realized not all teenagers are as awful as the ones I had been dealing with at my other school, and found self-worth again. If you are being bullied ask for help. There is no shame in seeking help...you don't have to fight the bullies alone. And if you are a witness to bullying, don't stand by a let it happen...tell an adult. Hang in there girly girls, I promise it will get better. Love ya'll!


I left a comment on your blog Rachel. I was bullied in high school. The whole stupid thing was jealousy over a boy. I think it was the hardest thing I have ever been through, harder than fighting cancer. My prayers go out to all the kids dealing with this right now. There are too many suicides and school shootings happening and when you find out the root cause it is always the same thing...the poor kid was being bullied. We HAVE to stand up for these kids. If you are a teen and see someone being bullied, tell an adult...schools are much more aware of bullying now than when I went through it. Standing by and watching it happen is as bad as being a bully yourself. This is just so close to my heart. Good job with your post...it may save a life!

Sparkle & Shine,

Rachel 

Speak Up

Today I was impacted by a letter. I started a pen-pal program at Emporia High School with BUILD Beauty and today it was our turn to reply to our pen-pals. I finally read the letter my pen-pal had written to me today so I could write back in time to turn it in today. I was mad at myself for not reading it sooner. I've had it for about 3 weeks now and just got to it. My pen-pal told me about physically harming herself, being in pain due to a bully at school, getting her heartbroken and more. It was rough to read and it pained me to know that someone is going through that. That she feels as if harming herself is the only solution. I wrote back and included a couple handouts I had made for BUILD and another presentation I did Monday for a sorority. I took the letter up to the high school and I called the counselor I stay in contact with at the high school and left a voice mail reporting what I found out. I wish I had known sooner. I wish I could have done more. I don't even know this girl's last name or her number. I did all that I could for now. I wrote a letter and left a voice mail. It started to weigh on me. I called my mom to talk to her about it and I couldn't help it. I cried. I cried talking about it because my heart ached for a girl having to go through such pain and I wanted to stop it. When I went to the school I was wishing I could come across this bully and tell her to stop. I cried because it made me realize the reality of it. You hear about it on the news, it's in the TV shows and movies, but when you read a letter from someone that physically wrote about this pain, it makes it all real. I kept thinking about Lady Gaga. I know, random. And it is her birthday today by the way! But, she talks a lot about how she was bullied in high school and she is always standing up against it. She has started a Born This Way foundation that goes along with bullying. It makes me like her even more and want to support her more. It makes me happy to know that she is using her resources to stand up for such an important issue. This definitely made me think and wish that things like this would stop. It is heartbreaking to know that people can cause other people so much pain. I really hope that my pen-pal will get help and deal with these problems in a healthy way. I am glad that she reached out to me and I hope that by me letting someone know can help her. Sometimes you need to speak up and sometimes you need to stand up against things.

Sparkle & Shine,
Rachel

Stand and Stare

It's been a lovely Spring Break so far. I think one of the reasons I like breaks from school is that it gives me some extra time to write. I checked out a poem book from the library that is called, "She Walks in Beauty" which is a bunch of poems that were selected by Caroline Kennedy to capture different aspects of a woman's life such as love, having children, grief, how to live and more. I haven't read every poem, but there are a few that I really like. One in particular captured my heart and I have grown to like it a lot. I decided to try to do an imitation poem of my own and thought I'd share.
Here is the original first.

Leisure
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

I hope you enjoyed it :)
My imitation poem doesn't have the exact same message as this one, but it does have a lot of similarities. I fell in love with the "stand and stare" motif and ran with it! Here ya go!

Stand and Stare
Take it in and breathe the air
Stop for a moment to stand and stare.

Scream to release the feelings within
Because they know how hard its been.

Sing the song that your heart beats to
Its felt the most pain that you've been through.

Cry and let the hurt wash away
Tomorrow will be an even better day.

Laugh it all off, for your own sake
Because it's the best medicine you can take.

Smile so that everybody else can see
You are right where you are meant to be.

Let the breeze sweep gently through your hair
As you take that moment to stand and stare. 



I hope you enjoyed those and you can take a few moments over this spring break to stand and stare. :)

Sparkle & Shine,
Rachel

Last Week

This past week was a pretty big one. Monday started off pretty crappy. I was irritated with something I may blog about in the future. I won't waste space on this post with it all. But Tuesday morning I got an email from the wife of our new President at Emporia State. Remember I had mentioned in a past post that I had taken the chance and asked him to invite her to BUILD? Well that chance was worth it because the email she sent was telling me she would be attending the meeting the next night! I was ecstatic! She came to the meeting and she was so cute and classy. She sat in the circle with everyone else and spoke and discussed things just like the rest of us. Afterward she offered future help such as even hosting a birthday party for BUILD Beauty at their house! I couldn't believe it. She told me to email her about it and she would help me out. It is so great having that connection with her and being able to email her and have that help! The next night I had dinner at Applebees with Anna and Loryn and in comes the Shonrocks! They were even seated right next to us! So I got to chat with them some more. It was so weird. As if all this is meant to happen. I feel like I am making connections with our President and his wife. I love that I can talk to them and even get help from them in the future!

Wednesday night, Anna and I went to the gym and somebody stole my Vera Bradley ID holder that had my apartment key attached to and held the key to the locker that held our belongings in. They didn't have a master key or extra key to get in our locker. We were pretty paranoid and upset. Whoever took it could have easily gotten into our locker and stole what was in there. They could have driven off with my parents car. It was not the greatest feeling and we didn't get our things out of the locker until the next day around noon. I was phone-less, money-less, car-less. Anna and I walked to the rec center at 6:30 in the morning to tell the person at the front desk to keep an eye on the locker to make sure the person didn't try to get in it. It was a scary experience and we learned our lesson. There was another girl that got cash taken from her Vera Bradley ID holder. So we made new friends out of the deal because they waited with us Wednesday night until they closed and gave us a ride home!

Thursday was a day that used to be significant to me. I was hoping that it wouldn't be hard to get through, but I actually did fine. With the chaos of getting our things back and everything else I had going on, I didn't have too much time to think about it. I feel like I am getting stronger. The song "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson and "Part of Me" by Katy Perry are my anthems at this point in my life. :) They couldn't be any better!

Now it's Spring Break and I have a lot of things I want to do and need to do! I am going to try to make sure I pencil in some relaxation time for myself because I need it! How do you guys make time for yourselves? And what do you do during your "me time"? You can email me your answers at glitterandthegirlygirl@gmail.com.

Sparkle & Shine,
Rachel

Review: Dollhouse by The Kardashians

I finally finished a book and it feels good! (Because it doesn’t happen very often!) I got the Kardashian novel for my birthday back in November from one of my best friends, Jessica. We are pretty open Kardashian fans. Can we just say it’s our guilty pleasure?

Anyway, the book is by all three Kardashian sisters along with the help of writers and editors. They used their imaginations to make a fiction story that is loosely based off their own lives. There were quite a lot of profanities just in the first ten pages which I was a little surprised about. But that wasn’t the only surprise. The plot line was pretty scandalous with cool twists that made you say, “What?” and it made you wonder if it really happened in real life or if it is made up. There is a lot of juicy drama and talk of sex, but I should have assumed it would be filled with it!

It was a fast read because the reading level is probably not very high for this book. English majors and creative writing minors would probably scoff at the grammar and some of the slang words used in the book, such as “slore.” Some of the dialogue and slang was a little much, but it was a fun read and something to use to escape from reality for a bit!

If you don’t totally hate the Kardashians, have the time, and want to have an easy read filled with some scandals, I would recommend this book! It is definitely a book for some girly girls J

Sparkle & Shine,

Rachel

2 Days

This week I had 2 particular days that were really big for me.
First was Tuesday when I was awarded the Susan B. Anthony Scholarship. I was awarded a long side two other wonderful women that work at Emporia State. I was so excited, thrilled and honored to even be recognized and awarded along side these women that have been contributing to women for years. I caught a glimmer of how Taylor Swift feels when she wins things and is awarded among other great musicians. I was happy to have close friends come as well as my advanced fiction writing class. I was glad that Professor Webb, one of my role models, could make it. Just last year she was getting one of the faculty awards and I had watched. Now just a year later, she was watching me. I couldn't be more thankful and feel so delighted about this award. I have an awesome plaque and an amazing necklace with a medallion that was designed by one of the great women of ESU years ago and it gets passed to the new person each year. I found out that I am the 30th person to get this award. A good even number. :)
Yesterday was also great because I went to the Meet and Greet with the new President of ESU, Dr. Shonrock. I had a plan and I was on a mission to ask him if his wife could speak at the next BUILD Beauty meeting. I even made an index card with my information and everything. There was a good group of people there and I stood with some friends and waited patiently for my turn. Eventually he came over to our group and I finally got my time to pitch the idea! I gave him the card and everything! Now I am just waiting to see if she can do it! :) I was filled with energy afterward because I was so excited I took the chance and opportunity. As I have mentioned before, it is all about taking chances. Even if she doesn't contact me or it doesn't work out, I am still glad that I even tried. Who knows what can happen if you don't try, right?
That night, I went to see a visiting writer read her poetry and that was inspiring. I had never been to one of the visiting writers before. It was a neat experience and I can't wait to get some time to write! I have been so busy!

I wanted to share that with you. It has been a rough last half of year or so, but it is nice to have some good things coming my way again. I am making sure I savor it.  :)

Sparkle & Shine,
Rachel

Professor Webb and I

Susan B. Anthony

Today, after giving a campus tour in such beautiful weather, I checked my phone to see I had a voice mail. I listened to it and it was the woman from the Ethnic and Gender Studies department letting me know that I have been selected to receive the Susan B. Anthony scholarship. I could barely contain my excitement and tried to hold back tears. I called her back and she let me know the details of what was to come next. This coming Tuesday, there will be a ceremony where I will be introduced and even get a medal that is passed to the new person each year. There are going to be a couple other awards announced as well. I applied for the scholarship a couple weeks ago. It was for people that have impacted and educated women here at ESU. I really felt like I had a shot and even had a couple friends contact me to let me know I should apply. That made me feel like I had an even better chance. After filling out the application, answering the essay questions, and turning it in, I was selected. I am so happy and had tears of joy. Something I hadn't felt in a while. My hard work is paying off and I feel so honored to be selected due to what I have been doing for women here at ESU.

I googled Susan B. Anthony because I wanted to learn what she was all about. She worked hard for women's rights and really wanted to see women finally get the chance to vote. I believe it was 14 years after she passed away, the amendment was passed that gave women the right to vote. I also learned she would give 75-100 speeches a year for 45 years. I would be honored just to be able to give a few speeches for women. It definitely inspires me that I can do big things.

This award really means a lot to me and I am so thrilled about it. It makes me want to strive even more to impact people's lives, especially women. I hope that this is just the beginning, one of the first stepping stones, to something great and that I can have the opportunity to change people's lives and have more accomplishments like this in the future.

I thank everyone that has supported me, listened to my ideas, told me I can do it, listened to me rant, watched me cry from frustrations, and more. I've been so blessed with a great support system of loving family and friends. Thank you. :)

Sparkle & Shine,
Rachel