Things I Could Do List

I can finally stop resisting fall and fully embrace it now that it actually began last week. I have already tried a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte for the first time and I even tried their brand new Toasted Graham Latte the day it came out. My nails are a dark purple and our fall "Welcome" mat is now on our doorstep. So let's proceed to the good stuff.

I am one of those suckers for changes in seasons and new months and heck, sometimes new weeks. My life has been far from chill and alone time has been non-existent. This last weekend though, I finally booked a weekend for myself and said no to pretty much any invite that came my way. This included 3 different P&L happy hours, I might add.

So last weekend I decided to devote its entirety to getting s#!t stuff done as well as letting myself relax and do things I love. By the end of it, I was feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and accomplished. But how did I keep myself on track?

Lists are a love of mine. I need them. So my cluttered brain can remember what the heck I need to do and to help my distracted mind stay somewhat focused. Over the weekend, I had some errands I had to run and things I did have planned at a certain time, but the rest was going to be guided by my "Things I Can Do This Weekend" list.

It was broken into categories: Errands, Blog, Adulting, Random

I wrote down anything and everything I could think of that I have been wanting to get done for months, had put off, or just wanted to do. As soon as I got home from work that Friday, I excitedly hung it up on the fridge and happily highlighted things I completed as I finished them. It was a nice visual and a great central place to be seen and reminded.

One thing I really like about this idea, this list, is that it wasn't so daunting being called a "to-do" list where it makes me feel like I have to get everything done. It's a "things I could do" list. I had all these things I could do and refer to throughout the weekend. There was no way I could have any time to be bored.

I didn't get every single thing done, but I did accomplish a lot and even more that wasn't on the list too. I enjoyed my weekend so much and loved the feeling of tackling a bunch of stuff finally. So I made you your own "Things I Could Do" list that you can use for a weekend or a whole week. Whatever time frame would work best for your schedule!

Feel free to save the image or if you prefer to have a PDF version, give me your email in the comment section below or contact me at thegirlygirl@theglitterylife.com and I will send it your way!

Let me know how your list goes and how you feel afterward!

That One Time I Wanted a Bloody Mary

I just wanted a damn Bloody Mary.

It was a rough week of work. Friday rolled around finally and I wanted to satisfy my craving for a Bloody Mary. I was going to get one even if it meant achieving it alone. I was supposed to have a date that night and he had cancelled again. So I really was going to do what I wanted because that kind of stuff can't stop, won't stop me.

As soon as I got home, I threw on a dress and freshened up my lipstick and hair. Then I made my way to Yard House all by myself and I walked in and told the hostess it was just me and I wanted to sit outside on the patio. It would be a 45 minute wait. I told her I would go shop and come back and I took that black brick so it could buzz at me when they were ready and thew it in my purse.

I made my way to Off Broadway shoes store and started trying on an array of high heels that I had my eyes on. I was trying to get my strappy sandals back on so I could start making my way back to Yard House when all of the sudden one of the straps broke. Completely broke. I looked at the time and frantically thought, well I am in a shoe store, surely I can buy a pair of sandals real quick! 

Hobbling around with a broken sandal, I went down the isles and tried a couple on, but couldn't find a pair that I loved and would actually spend $40+ on. I kept checking the time knowing that any minute, they would be trying to buzz that black brick, but I wouldn't know because I was way down the way at another store.

So I decided I would suck it up and take myself back to Yard House with my broken shoe. I hurried as much as I could in the done-for-sandal with the heat of the summer sun making me start to sweat. I made my way down the front hall of Yard House and waited.

I looked around me and finally noticed all the couples and the groups of girls. There was a huge country concert that would be happening that night. Couples dressed up nicely. Girls with their perfectly fresh blonde curls, cute outfits, and boots to go with them.

Here I was; frazzled, hot, standing there waiting wearing my broken sandal. I wore a bright dress and my short brown hair was fiercely slicked back.

I started to get uncomfortable. But I had gone out to eat alone plenty of times! I told myself. But it wasn't on a Friday night, in a dress, full makeup, surrounded by people that aren't like me. I was so frustrated with how the week went and even that past hour. I wanted to ditch the whole plan and just go home.

I knew I couldn't though. I had craved and wanted a Bloody Mary so much. There was no way I was going to let the shoe mishap, the cancelled date, and the other dates that were actually happening win. I knew I was so much stronger than that.

So after waiting longer and longer, I finally asked the hostess what was up. Why hadn't I been seated yet? They had indeed tried buzzing that black brick while I was gone, but I was too far away for it to work. Then they continued on down the list. They finally were able to sit me outside on the patio. And boy, did I order that Bloody Mary and even a salad.

On that summer Friday night, I sat a table by myself among tables of couples and girls with their best friends as I caught up on messages. Messages from friends in different states. No matter if I am physically alone, I always have friends across the US in the palm in my hand. That evening, I was giving my input on wedding outfit ideas for a couple of my close guy friends miles away.

I took my notebook out of my purse, grabbed a pen, and started writing and brainstorming ideas for my blog while I sat at the table eating and drinking to my delight.

I already knew this would be good writing material.#NeverADullMoment

The night I got my damn Bloody Mary

Unboxing Our Social Causes

I like people.

As I have grown and dabbled in “the real world,” I know other humans that would cringe or think I am crazy to actually like and enjoy people.

I also care.

Put those two statements together and you have me declaring that I care about people.

My high school and college experiences and beyond have shown me that diversity is important to me, anyone should be able to love whomever they want to freely, and that girl power is awesome.

As a little girl, I didn’t exactly pick social causes and human rights issues that I would care about. Experiences and people influenced me.

Actor, Matt McGorry wrote an article, "How Becoming A Feminist Felt Like Falling In Love" for Cosmopolitan and explains how he unexpectedly became a feminist.

"Much like finding someone to love, you can't really know what to look for in a social cause until it crosses your path. You can use all the words that you want to describe what you're looking for, but at the end of the day, when you find the right one at the right point in your life, you'll know."

That’s how I felt when I eventually found myself leading an organization for women that strongly aligned with being a feminist. I barely knew what it meant to be a feminist, but I was embodying it more and more whether I knew it or not.

While I have accepted and have been labeled a feminist by others, I have recently been pondering and liking the idea of taking on the role of a humanist.

Humanist – (n.) a person with a strong concern for human welfare, values, and dignity.

Sarah Jessica Parker explains it beautifully in her interview for the August issue of Cosmopolitan.

“As [playwriting] Wendy Wasserstein would say, I’m a humanist. I’m enormously appreciative of the work that my mother’s generation did. We are the beneficiaries of a lot of disappointment, heartache, discouragement, and misunderstanding. But I see a lot of people trying to sort out their roles. People of color, gays, lesbians, and transgenders who are carving out this space. I’m not spitting in the face or being lazy about what still needs to be done – but I don’t think it’s just women anymore. We would be so enormously powerful if it were a humanist movement.”

I’ve endured a lot of pain and grief as an ally to African-Americans and the LGBT communities because I have seen circumstances impact people in my personal life. I’ve cried when they have been discriminated, disrespected, and bullied. And I’ve tried to provide love, support, a voice, and my words.

I read the frustrated posts from my fellow classmates and Sumner alumni when it came to Ferguson and the #BlackLivesMatter movement.

I have listened to struggles gay and lesbian couples have endured from not being treated equally compared to other couples.

And man, do I know quite a few beautiful gay African-American men with raw talents and fabulous souls. In our society, you would think they have two big “disadvantages.” And that’s a shame.

This is what I want people to start thinking about. Taking on a humanist point of view. Where you aren’t just boxed into one movement. 

I cried over and over the day the Supreme Court ruled gay marriage to be legal in all 50 states for multiple reasons. I was beyond thrilled that the day finally came and a lot sooner than I had imagined. But soon after, I was writing in defense of a dear gay friend on Facebook when an African-American past classmate of ours was not exactly being supportive.

My heart was breaking to think that someone who has been wrestling with the issues in the African-American community wasn’t being positive about a major breakthrough in another community that has also struggled and battled through the years. It had to be turned into a comparison of who has endured the most pain and fought the bigger battles.

We as people have become great at comparing apples to oranges. We are good at pointing fingers. Imagine what we could do if we spent that time on positive energy and change.

Let’s cross over the fences of our boxes to our neighbors and hug them when they feel defeated and give them a high-five when they achieve a victory. The warmth and love should feel comforting whether it’s coming from a person of a different color, sexual orientation, or man.

A good friend of mine once told me, “I also can't even describe how phenomenal you are for even caring about the things that you don't have to.” That had never occurred to me.

Matt McGorry explains this position well:

“Even now, I acknowledge that my own privilege affords me the luxury of this cushy and positive outlook on fighting inequalities and injustices. I have the choice to confront these issues — they aren't implicit in my life due to my gender, the color of my skin, my sexual preference, or any other parts of who I am as a person.”

I may get looked at for being the girl that doesn’t have to worry about other people’s battles and that it’s easy for me to cheer while on the sidelines. But it’s not. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I may have an upper hand compared to some of my friends. It’s not fun for me to see my friends hurt. And I also don’t forget that I am a woman and still experience my own inequalities and discrimination based on my gender.

But for those that are privileged for whatever reason they may be, I encourage you to use your privileges for the good of others. Put it to use. You may not know what you are capable of doing and how much you can make an impact on other people’s lives even if it’s as simple as providing a listening ear or showing up for someone else.

My ears are listening. My eyes are reading. My heart is feeling. My humanist yard is open.

Filled with love, from a big-hearted ally,