Unboxing Our Social Causes

I like people.

As I have grown and dabbled in “the real world,” I know other humans that would cringe or think I am crazy to actually like and enjoy people.

I also care.

Put those two statements together and you have me declaring that I care about people.

My high school and college experiences and beyond have shown me that diversity is important to me, anyone should be able to love whomever they want to freely, and that girl power is awesome.

As a little girl, I didn’t exactly pick social causes and human rights issues that I would care about. Experiences and people influenced me.

Actor, Matt McGorry wrote an article, "How Becoming A Feminist Felt Like Falling In Love" for Cosmopolitan and explains how he unexpectedly became a feminist.

"Much like finding someone to love, you can't really know what to look for in a social cause until it crosses your path. You can use all the words that you want to describe what you're looking for, but at the end of the day, when you find the right one at the right point in your life, you'll know."

That’s how I felt when I eventually found myself leading an organization for women that strongly aligned with being a feminist. I barely knew what it meant to be a feminist, but I was embodying it more and more whether I knew it or not.

While I have accepted and have been labeled a feminist by others, I have recently been pondering and liking the idea of taking on the role of a humanist.

Humanist – (n.) a person with a strong concern for human welfare, values, and dignity.

Sarah Jessica Parker explains it beautifully in her interview for the August issue of Cosmopolitan.

“As [playwriting] Wendy Wasserstein would say, I’m a humanist. I’m enormously appreciative of the work that my mother’s generation did. We are the beneficiaries of a lot of disappointment, heartache, discouragement, and misunderstanding. But I see a lot of people trying to sort out their roles. People of color, gays, lesbians, and transgenders who are carving out this space. I’m not spitting in the face or being lazy about what still needs to be done – but I don’t think it’s just women anymore. We would be so enormously powerful if it were a humanist movement.”

I’ve endured a lot of pain and grief as an ally to African-Americans and the LGBT communities because I have seen circumstances impact people in my personal life. I’ve cried when they have been discriminated, disrespected, and bullied. And I’ve tried to provide love, support, a voice, and my words.

I read the frustrated posts from my fellow classmates and Sumner alumni when it came to Ferguson and the #BlackLivesMatter movement.

I have listened to struggles gay and lesbian couples have endured from not being treated equally compared to other couples.

And man, do I know quite a few beautiful gay African-American men with raw talents and fabulous souls. In our society, you would think they have two big “disadvantages.” And that’s a shame.

This is what I want people to start thinking about. Taking on a humanist point of view. Where you aren’t just boxed into one movement. 

I cried over and over the day the Supreme Court ruled gay marriage to be legal in all 50 states for multiple reasons. I was beyond thrilled that the day finally came and a lot sooner than I had imagined. But soon after, I was writing in defense of a dear gay friend on Facebook when an African-American past classmate of ours was not exactly being supportive.

My heart was breaking to think that someone who has been wrestling with the issues in the African-American community wasn’t being positive about a major breakthrough in another community that has also struggled and battled through the years. It had to be turned into a comparison of who has endured the most pain and fought the bigger battles.

We as people have become great at comparing apples to oranges. We are good at pointing fingers. Imagine what we could do if we spent that time on positive energy and change.

Let’s cross over the fences of our boxes to our neighbors and hug them when they feel defeated and give them a high-five when they achieve a victory. The warmth and love should feel comforting whether it’s coming from a person of a different color, sexual orientation, or man.

A good friend of mine once told me, “I also can't even describe how phenomenal you are for even caring about the things that you don't have to.” That had never occurred to me.

Matt McGorry explains this position well:

“Even now, I acknowledge that my own privilege affords me the luxury of this cushy and positive outlook on fighting inequalities and injustices. I have the choice to confront these issues — they aren't implicit in my life due to my gender, the color of my skin, my sexual preference, or any other parts of who I am as a person.”

I may get looked at for being the girl that doesn’t have to worry about other people’s battles and that it’s easy for me to cheer while on the sidelines. But it’s not. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I may have an upper hand compared to some of my friends. It’s not fun for me to see my friends hurt. And I also don’t forget that I am a woman and still experience my own inequalities and discrimination based on my gender.

But for those that are privileged for whatever reason they may be, I encourage you to use your privileges for the good of others. Put it to use. You may not know what you are capable of doing and how much you can make an impact on other people’s lives even if it’s as simple as providing a listening ear or showing up for someone else.

My ears are listening. My eyes are reading. My heart is feeling. My humanist yard is open.

Filled with love, from a big-hearted ally,