Laying Down the Labels

I was sitting in the General Council’s office at Emporia State telling him different things that were on my mind that I wanted to write about. I told him I was thinking about labels. That I have been labeled quite a bit and that recently people are trying to add a shiny new one: pageant girl. He swiveled in his chair and said, “Here, do you want my label maker?” and handed over the imaginary object. We laughed.

For starters, I am going to throw out the obvious and admit I’ve actually labeled myself: The Girly Girl. It’s what this whole blog was sort of built upon. The notion of me being a girly girl and learning things so I can write about it. I do write about some pretty girly things from time to time, but have enjoyed writing about no-so-girly things that males can even read and take something from.

And yes, there are labels that have been easy to embrace. I AM A HORNET. I was part of the “I am a Hornet” campaign at Emporia State and can be seen advertising it. I will proudly say I am a writer and that I am a Dotte Original.

But has anyone actually felt the pressures their labels can have? I have. I have chosen and put myself in positions where I feel a responsibility to my labels. I was an Ambassador at Emporia State University and we were expected to be in good standing and not do anything such as drink while wearing Ambassador or ESU apparel. We were the “faces of ESU” and needed to make sure to be good students. In Blue Key, with it’s prestige and huge elitist reputation in ESU history, we were expected to do things the Blue Key way: professional and with class. And expanding even further, I sometimes step back and try to think what my labels can do. With technology, social media, and this blog, I try to stay as cautious as I can about how I carry myself as well in person. It’s easier for people to have access to me and know my labels. I am a Dotte girl, Sumner Sabre, and ESU Hornet. I somewhat feel obligated to be the best I can be so as to have a good reflection on these labels.

There are touchy labels too. Some have labeled me as a feminist while others have tried to convince me I am not when I have tried to embrace it.

Then there are the labels that have caused a stirring, hurt me, and made me shed a few tears. Ones I can’t really completely control. Countless times, I was pegged to be a sorority girl and a lot of times people assumed I was in a specific one due to my involvement at the university. I would try to take it in stride, correct people, and keep a positive image for myself, the sorority, and Greek Life. I had no issues with Greek Life, it was just a personal choice I made not to join that sorority. Even still, I had received some backlash from them. So I was to consider myself a GDI (God Damn Independent). I nervously wrote an article embracing the label and standing up for others in my position. I still received backlash. Those are the labels in which I felt like no matter if I had actually joined or not, it would sort of haunt me.

Now I am trying to figure out what in the world does being a “pageant girl” even mean? This is going to be my first big pageant that I am competing in and I am still learning the ropes. This week at Homecoming, I tried to use it as practice for the pageant by dressing up, practicing my hair and make up, and wearing high heels a lot. I admitted to a couple friends that I might actually feel/look like a pageant girl when I was all dressed up. But I am still not fully convinced. I still don’t think I know what it means or entails and that I won’t until after the competition is all said and done. So until then, I will be experimenting and playing around with this label. And I plan on having fun with it.

As I was thinking about this topic and what I wanted to write, I knew I wanted to have some kind of conclusion or resolution. In the Emporia State ads, they would always end with, “My name is Rachel and I am a Hornet.” I like the idea that the label isn’t the end all and be all of who we are. It comes second. I am Rachel and I am a Hornet. If I have to accept being labeled and deal the stereotypes and stigmas that can go with it, I don’t have to let it make or break me. We shouldn’t let it consume our whole being. I figured out that the most important label that I tend to forget is straight up, Rachel Marshall. Whenever I get overwhelmed or maybe hurt, I should remind myself of my favorite label and just be the best dang Rachel Marshall. She encompasses all of them into one and that just seems so much simpler.

Sparkle&Shine.

Rachel