My Balcony

Last week, I went to Emporia for a project that is in the works and to visit Anna. That night, there were storms that came to town. I was in the apartment and had to go to the balcony to check out the pouring rain like I used to do when I lived there. I stepped outside and when the cool breeze hit me in the face, it also hit me inside what an important part the balcony had been while I lived in Emporia. Memories came rushing to me. I could see the people that have walked up and down the stairs. Then the rain poured harder. So I knew I had to visit the past and write. 

My Balcony

My college apartment balcony gave me three years of memories,

which I have boxed in my heart and simply labeled, “my balcony.”

It played a pivotal role in my college days & [magical] & [harder] nights.

I’ve watched storms roll through Emporia from there

and I’ve written poetry about it too.

Tears have rolled from my cheeks and onto the pavement.

There was the night Jade and I marveled at the humungous moon;

the beautiful summer we became dear friends.

The first night Anna and I spent with our honorary roommate, Cory,

was there while he drank with Josiah. They put the cans in the plant at the bottom.

Josiah and I became friends at the bottom of those stairs too

when we talked for hours the first night we met.

Boys have climbed those stairs to get to me.

I’ve sat with them to talk.

One kissed me there for the first time

        and I’ve had last kisses on that balcony too.

I sat there when I was locked out one night.

I ate hot Cheetos and watched baseball boys and frat guys almost fight.

Hard phone calls were made there.

Leftover Chinese food was enjoyed around 3am after a night at the bars

in my t-shirt and underwear the summer I lived alone.

The trains could be heard.

Long conversations took place.

There I watched them walk away.

I went up those stairs when the sun was coming up after spending the night

talking and slow dancing with someone in the middle of the football field.

I crawled up to the balcony when the stairs couldn't be seen from under the snow.

I went down them on weekend nights, dressed up, ready to have a good time

after a busy week anticipating what was to be in store for me.

Pictures have been taken there;

        usually moments of fashion and before big events.

I consumed chocolate milk there after a good sweaty run.

Anna and I sat outside with our new fish on a pretty day.

I can still see him coming up the stairs.

I remember the couple times we came to them and I was still wondering

if this was the moment he was finally going to make the move.

My feelings and emotions love that balcony.

So many days and nights, I stepped out onto it,

         whether I wanted to or not,

ready to take on the world, willing to take chances, okay with making mistakes.

This picture was taken almost one year ago before I went to the Blue Key induction and reunion during Homecoming week when I was nominated for royalty. It was the day after a huge event I had planned took place and the same night I found out someone who had impacted my life had taken his own life. Someone who had walked up and down those stairs too. It was a roller coaster of emotions and one of those tough times I had to keep going and walk out onto that balcony and into the world. Glad to have this picture as a reminder. 

Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel