Set Free

They used to haunt me in my dreams.

The same ones that shattered my heart and flipped my world upside down. The ones that disrespected me in numerous ways. The ones that drove me to go to counseling for months my sophomore year of college. The ones that made me cry.

I came face-to-face with them.

Due to a situation, I would have to face these two people. One would imagine how nervous I would be. I imagined it. But I didn’t imagine it would be so easy. That it would be one of the best feelings.

The little nerves I had in the first few minutes quickly diminished. My heart didn’t drop. She didn’t beat loudly. She actually didn’t really feel anything.

I was handed a reminder and a note of how happy I am. I was consumed with confidence in myself, who I am, and where I am at. It rushed in me beautifully.

In some sort of sick way, I wanted to thank this girl for the storm she created in my life that took a lot from me and left me scattered all over. It forced me to rebuild. And now I feel like I did a pretty damn good job doing that. She extracted someone toxic from me that I didn’t need. And I wanted to thank her for doing the job.

I sat there with the breeze in my hair and I felt free. I was free from the pain. I was free from them. I was high on happiness and I might have never felt so sure about myself. I felt peace.

For a long time, I thought they had won and they got what they wanted, but I was wrong. I thought they had robbed me of dreams I had, but I am glad they didn’t come true.

I was okay with letting them feel awkward and self-conscious. I was fine with sitting there even if I am their bad reminder of what they did in the past. It’s something they have to deal with. I have dealt with myself and could finally see that I am done. So I sat there with the breeze in my hair and I smiled inside. I felt like I had won.

Set Free

Everything came to light

when they were right in front of me.

I had them in my sight.

The monsters that used to be in my dreams

weren’t scary anymore.

I had grown up

and became better than before.

I could finally see

what she took away from me

actually set me free.

I dedicate this to the numerous girls that have found themselves in this same situation. I hope that the day comes for you to get that closure, peace, and freedom you need and deserve. You didn't come in second, you won a better life. :)

Sparkle&Shine.

Rachel

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