Blue Key Retreat - Golden, CO

I was greeted with hugs.
I was going to spend the weekend with the Blue Key national board. 3 students including myself and the 5 adults that have positions on the board. This was my first retreat with them since I was elected in January.
I arrived in Golden, CO and was immediately enchanted with the absolutely adorable town. The woman that coordinated the Blue Key retreat trip lives there and works at the Colorado School of Mines. She drove us around campus and told us some stories. There is a mountain that is seen from a distance with a big M on it. She told us of the tradition that every year, the incoming freshman brings a 10lb rock from their hometowns and carry it up the mountain to the M and they go back when they graduate to get their rock back. At night it lights up. I looked up the tradition on their website and come to find out, the tradition was started by the Blue Key group there and still to this day is taken care of by them. You can look at more info here. http://www.mines.edu/Traditions

The M on the mountain lit up at night.

We passed by a newer looking building and Michelle told us that the building was funded by an alum in his 30's that donated $10 million dollars for it to be built. I am pretty sure my jaw dropped. It is pretty amazing for an alum to donate $10 million dollars, but for them to be in their 30's is just extraordinary. The school is a pretty STEM heavy school. That means a lot of the programs have to do with science, technology, engineering and math. And that also means, that the boy population is a lot higher than the girl population which is quite the opposite to ESU.

City lights in Golden

I roomed with the other girl that serves on the board as a student. She just graduated from the University of Toledo. We quickly learned that we are similar and have stories that are quite a lot alike. It goes to show that yes, everyone's story is unique, but there are people that go through the same things. You aren't alone. So we bonded over the same things, but also, shared our stories that made us different too.

I learned a lot about Blue Key at a national level. And even learned some Emporia ties to it. I learned that Florida disaffiliated themselves with the national organization because they didn't want to deal with the GPA side of it and such. So all the Florida Blue Keys operate on their own. And apparently Tim Tebow was a Blue Key at the University of Florida and you can see it on his list of achievements here. http://www.gatorzone.com/football/misc.php?p=tebow/bio
Then irony came about when we decided to move the national documents to the University of Georgia archives. They will be sitting quite close to Florida. College fans probably know of the Georgia/Florida rivalry!

The board is made up of interesting people. 4 men and 1 woman. As I had said before, Michelle is from Colorado, then we have the director from Ohio, President from Portland, and the other two are from Alabama and Georgia. It was cool hearing their stories from all across the country. The board had joked about the President of the board and how they had written on his name tag, FOP (Friend of the Pope) at a conference. I went along and chuckled as they told me the story. I didn't know if it was a joke or maybe he did meet the Pope before? As the weekend progressed and I was enchanted with this man's stories, I finally asked if he was a friend of the Pope because it really seemed like a possibility now. I found out he really did meet the Pope and past ones. He's on the invite list to dinners and pretty sure he has been in the White House and met Presidents. Then I think about how he asked about my nail polish and if I sprinkled on the glitter or what. Makes me chuckle inside a little. Now I can't wait for conference in January so I can hear even more stories! And to think I get to sit on a board with these cool people? So lucky and blessed!

The Board

We had dinner at Michelle's house on Saturday and she literally lives on a mountain! It was about a half hour drive to her place from the hotel and most of it was winding up the mountain! I was in awe when I got out of the car and felt the cool crisp chill after the rainstorm that was happening on the way there. I was surrounded by mountains and trees. Later on when I was taking in the beauty, I could see the sun hitting the tip of a mountain across the way and then there was a little rainbow on top of another. It didn't take long for me to fall in love.

View from Michelle's porch.

You can see the sun hitting the top of the mountain in the distance.

The trip overall was great and I learned a lot from the people, organization, and town. I even had probably the most expensive wine I have had in my life to date! Colorado really touched my heart and I can't wait to go back sometime to see those mountains again! Sunday morning, I was left with hugs. And it meant a little more that time.

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

.....

There was about a four hour delay at the airport going back to Kansas City. I tweeted asking for 3-6 word suggestions and I would write a poem. I was given dinosaurs, Jurrasic Park and paleontologist. I thought about it for awhile and started sketching stuff and then finally came up with this and it actually is becoming a favorite of mine. I like when I can get in a zone and crank out something. Here it is!

To All That Have Had Their Heart Broken

December 14, 2011

I felt like punching a wall…or something.

That was the first line in the journal entry I made that day. That was in the middle of the deep pains I would feel as I laid in bed trying to sleep and fight memories, replay things said, and make up conversations in my head with the person that hurt me the most in my entire life.

When I first started delving back into my faith and exploring my study bible in that time, there was an excerpt about comforting. I don’t remember the page it was on, but I will not forget what it taught me. It talked about a verse and it brought up the point that God puts us through some hard times and then later on since we have been through it, we will be prepared and know how to help and comfort others that will go through the same thing. I told myself that I will someday be able to help others that will go through what I did.

Just recently I have finally felt it happening with a couple friends of mine. One of them is so similar to me, it’s a little weird at times, but reminds me that God is working in some way and I will figure out what it is eventually.

So now I want to blog about heartache and break ups. Since I have dealt with it and experienced it, I want to share how I coped and healed in hopes that it can help others. Maybe it can comfort others and make it a little easier.

First step: unfollow, unfriend. Don’t follow them on Twitter, unfriend them on Facebook, remove them from Instagram, Vine, and any other social network, media, app thing you can think of. It really is unhealthy for you to allow yourself to see what they are up to, talking about, and see who is liking their things. It will be very tempting and you will want to look, but really, just don’t. It will be what is best for you. More than likely, you will not like what they post or you will read way too into it and it will suck you back into negative thoughts, memories, etc. Boys may think that it is “childish” or “immature” to do this step, but for girls, it really can take a toll on their health since we think and read into so much. Don’t think about what they think, just think about yourself and well being first this time.

Don’t let yourself think about the “good times” so much. When you catch yourself thinking about that one time you got butterflies or the person did something really sweet for you, it will make you miss them and it will conjure strong emotions, so you want to redirect your thoughts right then! Remind yourself of the positives and why it is best you are not with the person anymore.

Lay off the sappy lovey dovey songs and movies. I took a long break from “The Notebook” since it is such a romantic and emotional movie. Songs and movies that can move someone so easily might not be the best idea to listen to and watch.

Talk. Talk to family and friends. If you can talk to a counselor, even better. I went to a counselor at the school for about a year every week. It is nice to have an unbiased opinion and someone that wasn’t involved in the situation. He could also suggest things for me to do to help myself. Holding things in may lead to an explosion later.

Write. I wrote a poem about the time when it was suggested by my Mom and counselor to write and how I felt about it.

When they told me to write

At first they told me to write

as a way to cope and to heal,

but I was scared,

didn’t want to feel

those feelings again.

The pen that scribbles

ink on to the page

would be scraping

at the scabs on my heart.

I didn’t want them to bleed

again. I visited the pain

enough when I replayed

the conversations in my mind,

let memories make me cry.

Why would I let it come to life

in words onto paper.

Why would I want to save it for later?

Writing has always been an outlet for me and at that time I did not want to write about it. I thought it would be too painful, but I eventually started to and now I am not stopping. It really can be therapeutic and it is neat to look back on it later and see the progress you made. It’s a reminder of how far you have come and makes you glad you aren’t in that place anymore.

Workout. I do have to admit one thing I did like about that time was that I lost weight. It can happen and it can be motivation to workout and keep it off. Also, working out is an amazing way to blow off steam and get anger out. You can own your run or your workout. It’s all yours and it’s rare you leave a workout, not feeling good about it afterwards.

Surround yourself by support and inspiration.

Here are some of my suggestions!

Books: The Confident Woman – Joyce Meyer

            Eat, Pray, Love – Elizabeth Gilbert

            Traveling Mercies – Anne Lamott

Songs: Part of Me – Katy Perry

            Stronger – Kelly Clarkson

            Firework – Katy Perry

            Wide Awake – Katy Perry

            Thank You – Alanis Morissette

            That I Would Be Good – Alanis Morissette

(Any Taylor Swift song pretty much!)

Follow on Twitter: @TheSingleWoman

And then have fun exploring her blog posts on her website!

Shows: Watch all the episodes of Sex & The City. (I’m getting close to it!)

For those who are religious: Pray.

Read Proverbs 31 and read about the ideal woman.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3: 5-6

That night I had written about punching a wall, I ended that journal entry like this…

I feel like I forgot God is here with me. I don’t need to wait to talk to him. He doesn’t have finals tomorrow. He isn’t sleeping just yet. I can talk to Him now. He is here.

So remember, God is always willing listen and always has time for you!

When it comes down to it, TIME is really important. People will say time heals all things. I always heard, “it will get better” and it does. You have to get it time.

Here is another poem I wrote…

The Dust Has Settled

Time really did help to heal me

just like they had said.

It really did get better

just like they had told me.

Now it’s all memories

and pictures in places

and stories to tell.

The dust has finally settled.

&&&

So this is to all that have had their heart broken.

To the ones that have been cheated on.

To the ones that thought he was the one.

To the ones that never got him to commit.

To the ones that never got a text the next day.

To the ones that still think about that one night.

To the ones that have been used.

To the ones that have been led on.

To the ones that lost all confidence.

Things will get better. It’s uncomfortable, but that’s just growing pains. You are growing, learning and evolving. Don’t take it as a regret, but a lesson learned. Take notes so you can comfort others in the future.

Don’t let anyone ever dull your sparkle.

You're beautiful.

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel