Your New Beauty Consultant

I was a preschool girl when I wore makeup for the first time.

I had my very first dance recital and it's recommended when you are on stage to wear makeup so you aren't washed out by the lights. I think my mom just put a little mascara on my little girl lashes, some blush on my cheeks, and lipstick for my smile that I still hadn't quite mastered at the age of 5.

It would become an annual thing. Every summer when my dance recital rolled around, I would get to wear makeup.

In middle school, I experimented with eyeliner.

By high school, I was using Covergirl and Maybelline and the other big name makeup brands you find at grocery stores and drugstores. I used it for years. I've gone through countless numbers of tubes of the what seems like a hundred different "Lash Blast" Covergirl mascaras. I actually have a tube in my current collection of makeup.

It seemed that people assumed that I was a makeup master with my girly nature, style people have claimed to think I have, and how I would wear my makeup. But in the last couple years, I would admit, I actually wasn't that makeup saavy. What was highlighter and how do you even use it? I didn't know.

When I was preparing to compete in Miss Kansas USA, I thought I needed to step up my makeup game. My drugstore makeup probably wasn't going to cut it under the stage lights and around what I knew would be glamorous girls that were using brands such as Mac and Nars and such.

I spent hours at the MAC makeup counter at the mall getting schooled in makeup and what would be best for me. And then spent way too much money (but hey, I fundraised for it!). I do love the Mac products I bought and I am still finishing them out (over a year later, they still are going!), but I knew I couldn't be totally loyal to that brand because it wasn't exactly the best every day makeup for me and I still think it's a tad too pricey for my bank account.

When I first started practicing with my Mac products before competing in Miss Kansas USA

In April of 2015, I was contacted by Emily Flett, a Mary Kay consultant, and I decided to do a one-on-one facial with her. I went again for a color appointment and she taught me how to highlight and contour and I found makeup that fit well for me and what I wanted. I even got a couple skin care products, which was a big step for me!

Skin care is something I was told about and read about when I was in high school and battling those teenage pimples. But during college and after, I didn't have those teenage pimples and I was completely okay with just using my Clean & Clear cleanser and calling it day. But now I am starting to enter the age of being told that I should be taking good care of my skin now and it will be good for me in the long run.

So I started moisturizing for the first time in my life and I am not going back. Call it a life changer.

In my first meeting with Emily, she immediately told me I should do Mary Kay and that I would be good at it. She knew about my experience starting BUILD Beauty and my Miss Kansas USA journey and the like. I told her no.

And then she asked me I don't even know how many more times and I continued to say no and sometimes a "Ehhhh...I'll thhhiiinnnkk about it."

Then finally I gave in. I said yes. Signed the contract. And here I am.

The more I have reflected, pondered, and processed this decision, I feel more confident and happy I agreed to do this. I am finally at a point in my life that I am starting to settle into the Big Girl World and I found myself starting to ask, "So, this is it?"

As I have been getting things prepared for my Mary Kay adventure, I found my passion and energy for women empowerment in a dusty corner of my heart. I have been so focused on getting myself grounded in the Big Girl World, that I have put aside my passions.

I have already been wiping off the dust excitedly and anxiously and I am starting to feel those same eager, scared, and ecstatic feelings I had when starting BUILD Beauty. I think about the lives of women that I can touch and impact through this endeavor.

What I like about the idea of being a Mary Kay Consultant is that I am selling and teaching more than one concept. 

I will be able to help women learn and find the right makeup products for them so they can feel confident in that big job interview, glam during girls night, beautiful at work, and sexy on those date nights with a cute boy.

Makeup I did myself for a wedding I was recently in. Almost every product used was Mary Kay!

On the other side of Mary Kay, I will be able to teach women about skin care and taking good care of their face. That way they can feel beautiful and confident in their own skin when they want to go makeup free. Recently I went completely makeup free for a week straight. I feel like my Mary Kay skin products have improved my skin.

From the week I went totally makeup free!

I've gotten to that point of thinking I am quite beautiful without the makeup too. I want women to feel that.

So what happens?

Do you want me to be your beauty consultant?
Here are just some of the endless possibilities.

Book a one-on-one consultation with me | Have a party with your BFFs | Virtual party | For my long distance friends, we can have a Skype date! | Coffee date | Email me rachelnmsparkle@marykay.com | Ask me to join my closed Facebook Group: Rachel Marshall - Beauty Community | Text me | Browse & Buy from my website marykay.com/rachelnmsparkle

I am excited to talk about beauty and more with you! To me, me being a Mary Kay Consultant is not just me selling products. It's me being there for you to teach, show, answer questions, offer advice about skin care, makeup, style, and beyond. It doesn't just stop at the products. There is more to confidence than just products. And I want to help you with that!

Can't wait to hear from you and I would be thrilled to be your beauty consultant!

New Year, Better Me

Growing pains. And the year of short hair.

2015. Man, 2015 and I were close. We struggled a lot. And we also accomplished a lot. It's a year that will get that special distant smile from me whenever it's mentioned. 

At first, 2015 and I weren't getting along. Three months into it and I was about ready to chalk it up as the worst year yet. Let me try to paint the picture of what it was like with my words...

In January, I was completely unemployed. I had no source of income. I was now a full year into job searching. I was getting pissed. I had been a good kid that started to search even before graduating. Here I was, someone that graduated with honors and received a degree that is one of the most flexible ones you can get. Opportunities were supposed to be endless. I had worked harder outside of the classroom gaining real life experience while in college. Why the hell did I not have a job yet?

A couple weeks into the year, I experienced intense pain in my left breast where I had a cist. An abscess developed. I was put on antibiotics and was in bed in pain for a couple days trying to let it run its course. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. In the meantime, I also had to schedule a biopsy to be done on my other breast that had a lump in it that my doctor wanted me to check out ASAP. My lady parts didn't like 2015 either at first. 

February rolled around and I was still jobless. I got really sick and it eventually led me to the emergency room when the minute clinic was worried about my tonsils. I was told I had tonsillitis and was given my second subscription for antibiotics. A weekend in bed was spent. 

March showed up and it felt like my tonsillitis was trying to show up again. I went to a throat, nose, and ear doctor whom told me that my tonsillitis actually never fully left. I essentially had tonsillitis for about a month and was prescribed my third round of antibiotics for the year. 

By March, I had spent more time on antibiotics than not.

Oh, and I was still jobless. I had spent a few weeks back at the golf course part time and despised it. When I wasn't there, I was at Starbucks applying for jobs and writing as much as I could. It was when I was seeing my doctor about my abscess that I got the email that Elite Daily wanted me to be a contributing writer. During my time of unemployment and sickness, I also had my first article published on Thought Catalog. When I was bed ridden with tonsillitis that first weekend, I developed my website that would be dedicated to my writing for online publications and blog. 

I seem to never want to be stagnant. 

I had even tried to apply for unemployment and got denied. I had to defer my student loans another six months because I still didn't have a job and a way to start paying my loans every month. I started to feel my 23-year-old bright wide eyes that once was excited about opportunity and what I could do with my education and experience become dull. I started to question whether I had done enough in college. Did I not do well enough? Was I just not enough?

In March, I was asked to come and do an after school talk with the girls of the debate/forensics team at my old high school. They wanted me to talk about women empowerment, self-confidence, self-esteem, and the like. I was pretty much doing a BUILD Beauty gig. And here I was in one heck of a low time in my life. I was a recent college graduate and not much to show for it yet.

But I put together a presentation, I pulled out raw poetry I made for writing classes in college and I went in and I did it. I dove in and I opened myself and my life up to these girls to hopefully somehow empower and inspire their young hearts and minds. It was probably the best day of 2015 yet. I went in an insecure girl with an uncertain life and left that afternoon feeling a lot more reassured. It was as if those girls reminded me that maybe I kind of do have some of my stuff together.

Then eventually good things started to happen.

A weekend after that talk I gave, I, in the most random way, meet a guy from Iowa. At that time, I would have no idea how life changing that night would be. I didn't know how special he would come to be to me.

By the end of April, I got an email letting me know I landed a contract position at Black & Veatch as an Event Coordinator and I was going to help them with their 100 Year Anniversary Celebration. I cried in the bathroom of the golf course as I called my parents to tell them the news.

May 1, I stepped foot in Black & Veatch and got my first taste in the corporate world. I finally had my first big girl job almost a full year after graduating college. It was a mind blowing experience. I still am not over it.

Once that came, my life went 1,000mph. 

I moved out and got an apartment with Anna. With the move, I decided to buy new bedroom furniture on my own and design what would become my new space.

I bought a new car for the first time ever.

Anna and I adopted a kitty. #Liza

On a whim, I booked a trip to Colorado on my own to visit a friend and to spend time in the mountains.

And then I started a new relationship with that Iowa boy I mentioned earlier.

I even got a new job. I had no idea whether or not Black & Veatch would extend full employment to me when my contract was up at the end of the year, so I felt the pressure to find something and I wanted something more permanent. Now I had big girl bills to pay. I needed to find something solid. And I am so glad and thankful I did as an Event Coordinator at Jack Stack Barbecue.

I like to think I ended 2015 strong. As 2016 has greeted me, I have reflected on 2015 and what I want to accomplish and do in 2016. Jordan and I were talking about our goals for the year and he had thrown out the go-to phrase, "New Year, New You."

And I said, "Nah, I am thinking more 'New Year, Better Me.'"

When I think about last year, I feel like I exhausted the word, new. It was all about the new job, new apartment, new car, new cat, new job again, new boyfriend. It was all new, new, new. I am happy I was able to say it so much in 2015, but it's not going to be the theme so much in 2016. It's going to be better. Now that I have all these new things and have gotten to where I am today, I am at the point of, okay, now how the hell do I manage all this?!

My goals and desires for 2016 is to be and do better. I want to be better with money. Have a better diet. Learn how to be better at my job. Just be a better person. I've been working hard to establish myself and now I want to learn how to do all these big girl things better. And I already have some plans of action. ;)

As I wind down this post, I can't help but be overwhelmed with how crazy it is that my life has changed so much in a year. I am sitting at my desk in my room in my apartment I didn't have then and I have the lamp on. I had bought it for my cube when I worked at Black & Veatch in which I hadn't experienced yet a year ago. There is a picture of Jordan and I from my first Iowa State game. I still hadn't met him yet a year ago either. I have business cards from my current job next to that. All of this didn't exist a year ago. What a way to come in just a year.

Imagine what you can do. Don't give up. You might get pissed. You might not feel like enough. But you will eventually be happy. And you are enough. Even if sweet high school girls gently remind you one day. :) Just keep going. Please.

My 24-year-old eyes feel wide and sparkly again.

Starbucks: How It's More Than PSL Drinks And Red Cups To Me

Yes, the red cups are here. 

Just like the return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) marks the start of Fall for many people across the world, the red cup let's us know that the holidays are not far from us. But this post isn't all about how excited I am to be drinking from my first red cup of the season at this very moment. Nope. To me, Starbucks has become more than "basic" jokes and cool Instagram posts of my drinks.

It wasn't until college that I started to get into Starbucks and actually be able to afford to indulge in it from time to time. My senior year, I started to have coffee dates.

I also was now working in the President's Office at Emporia State University. I worked a Monday shift with a student I hadn't met before until working in the office. He was a few years older than me, married, and had spent time working in the Navy before his time at ESU. One Monday, he was going to the Union to get a Starbucks drink and offered to get me one too. Little did I know, this would be a weekly tradition we would later dub, "Coffee Monday."

Every Monday, during our shift he would grab us coffee and we would work, job search, talk about class, and anything else in between. We would look over each other's resumes that we were constantly tweaking and he would offer advice about a boy I had been seeing. It was a nice little treat to look forward to every Monday. I even got to have coffee at our Emporia Starbucks with him and his wife one time and was able to enjoy each other's company.

Since graduating, I am now in Kansas City and him and his wife are living in Colorado. We have been able to keep in touch and he has continued to be a great friend and a cheerleader. Last month, on a Sunday, I asked for his email and through the Starbucks website, I was able to send him a Starbucks e-gift card and told him we would have a virtual coffee Monday the next day. That Monday, I went to Starbucks over my lunch break and sent him a picture of it over Snapchat and he did the same.

I've been thankful for Starbucks which helped build a friendship and also gives us the capabilities to keep a little tradition going despite the distance. 

Starbucks has also become a happy place for me. After graduating from college, I moved back home and was soon training to compete in Miss Kansas USA and also enduring that hard job search as a recent college grad. I was transitioning from living the college life for the last four years, going through the funk of a relationship gone wrong, and the break up that came.

A new Starbucks opened close to home so I started to go there and use it as an office because I couldn't be in my bed all the time. I would order my drink and park at a table for hours. During my time there, I was working on fundraising efforts for the pageant, job applications, networking, and writing.

Pageant work, job searching, writing. Repeat. 

While I was unemployed, I didn't want to be stagnant. The pageant helped me personally work on myself in many ways and I wanted to focus on my blog and get my writing seen. Blog posts and articles were born, written, and sent in when I was at Starbucks. Poems were revised and tweaked. It was my time to be in the zone alone and get things done.

After a while, a couple baristas knew me by name and knew my order all the way down to the "no whip cream" when I wanted it on ice. I appreciated their friendly nature every time I chose to come in and be there for hours.

Eventually I got my first big girl job and life has taken off even faster. My Starbucks afternoons became nonexistent. This week, I am in between ending my first job last week and starting my new one next week. I scheduled a whole afternoon today to come to the Starbucks down the road from my apartment and dedicate it to my blog work.

This time I am not competing in a pageant. I'll be starting a new job next week. All I need to do is write and work on my blog. (And be excited to spend the weekend with someone I like ;) ) While my life has changed a lot over the last year, I still get the excited feeling to be here.

Thank you, Starbucks for helping me get through stressful days, being a comfort, a happy place, somewhere I can work, and spend time with my passion. Your yummy drinks delight my taste buds and make my tummy happy.

A loyal customer & gold card member,

*This post was not sponsored. It is strictly my own opinion.

Pine Needles

Fall has proven to be the most bitter, but also the sweetest season for me. As much as I love to feel the change in the air as it turns crisp on my face, it also reminds me of the pain I've experienced the past few years during this time.

Having my heart broken, experiencing a death that still feels too fresh, feeling lost, being unhappy. But it's tied to memories of making history, being crowned Homecoming Queen at a University that captured my heart, accomplishing huge feats, and well...being happy.

I've experienced the most extreme emotions on each side of the scale in this season. It can be overwhelming to feel them both at the same time.

This time is no different. It started brewing toward the end of August when I had adopted a cat with Anna, got my first major credit card, and bought my first car all in one week. I started enduring a lot of growing pains and the real world started to take its toll on me.

I've been one to run myself ragged and one Friday, I had to cancel plans with a friend because I was so drained and unhappy, that I needed some time with myself. Around that same time, I had gone outside of work to call my mom and ended up crying and breaking down because I was utterly overwhelmed and to the point that I was starting to become sick due to stress. I had to take the afternoon off of work to personally take care of myself.

September seemed to have a theme that anything and everything would go wrong. Things weren't working like they should be and processes weren't going smoothly. Stuff just wasn't going right.

Yet again, before dinner at my parents, after filling out tedious paperwork, I broke down in tears when I told my mom that my pay day was messed up and I was only paid for the week of labor day instead of the two weeks I should have been paid for. I was going to have to wait another couple weeks until my next pay day to get it all corrected. That labor day week wasn't even going to cover rent and my student loan bill I had due the coming days. I crunched numbers, I used savings, I budgeted, and I said no to things. I made it work.

I've wanted to write about those tough times for awhile because we tend to post our highlight reels on social media. Rarely, do we, and especially myself, like to admit when we are struggling or just simply unhappy. But we are human. Things happen. And that's okay.

My Instagram doesn't show you when I am sad or crying it out.  

Luckily, I am a firm believer in balance. There was no way I would continue to have shitty challenging stuff piling on my plate forever. Thankfully, October has deemed itself a happier month.

With the stress and unhappy emotions I was dealing with, I was glad to be going out of town for a vacation I knew I would later thank myself for booking on a whim. I didn't tell many people. I didn't make it a huge deal. I wanted it to be more of my own. My personal vacation. On a Wednesday night, I walked down the dark halls of MCI and flew out to Colorado.

I stayed with a good friend and spent the weekend in Estes Park. I hiked for the first time (5 hours, I might add!) and I was happy to do so in the Rocky Mountains. During college, I noticed that nature seemed to have a healing power over my soul whenever I was in a busy season or having a hard time. I could take a deep breath as I was surrounded my grass, trees, mountains, and I could just be.

 

My makeup didn't leave my bag once. The dresses I packed stayed folded. Heck, I didn't even shave once. I worked on 4 different poems. I started a book and got to page 100 by the end of the trip, which is a huge feat for me. I got to hang out with myself. I got to cry. And write more. I drank wine. I ate s'mores. I played games. And wrote some more.

During my trip, I was also visited with my high school English teacher. It had been years. Within minutes of seeing her, she said, "I have a book for you" and handed it to me to take. We talked for an hour and by the end, I felt like I took a shot of life--straight; with no chasers. My soul felt renewed and refreshed from being around a past piece of myself. A woman whom I realized was one of the first influences to my feminist nature.

We discussed books, education, racial issues, and she thanked me for not having kids just yet.

 

Between her and the nature, it was like I used pine needles to insert life back into my veins. As I walked the trails, I kept opening my spirit and telling inspiration and ideas that I am open for service and I wanted their biz. I drank and ate the rocks, the water, the mountains and everything in between so I could fuel my soul as much as possible.

I was no longer feeling stagnant. I arrived at the Denver airport in a long sleeve, yoga pants, tall Nike socks, no make up, hair in a low bun, and I took myself to a restaurant & brewery and while I waited for my flight, I indulged on wings and a big tall beer. Because I could. Because I wanted to.

Traveling and going through an airport alone is one thing that just really excites me inside. I feel like I walk a little taller and there is an extra pep in my step. It's a form of freedom that's hard to explain. While I was hiking the mountains, I was sort of in awe of my life and myself in that moment.

I am not defined by someone else. There wasn't permission that I needed granted in order to be there. I paid my ticket. I was doing what I wanted. Because I could. Because I wanted to. And that felt quite empowering.

Life is tough. And they aren't trying to yank your chain about the real world. Believe them on that one. Shake things up. Go to a different place for a bit. Renew, recharge, refresh. The seasons help with that. They are gentle reminders that we need change. Fall and I have a special bond. She tells me with her crisp breeze on my face.

From your Rocky Mountain Mermaid,

Unboxing Our Social Causes

I like people.

As I have grown and dabbled in “the real world,” I know other humans that would cringe or think I am crazy to actually like and enjoy people.

I also care.

Put those two statements together and you have me declaring that I care about people.

My high school and college experiences and beyond have shown me that diversity is important to me, anyone should be able to love whomever they want to freely, and that girl power is awesome.

As a little girl, I didn’t exactly pick social causes and human rights issues that I would care about. Experiences and people influenced me.

Actor, Matt McGorry wrote an article, "How Becoming A Feminist Felt Like Falling In Love" for Cosmopolitan and explains how he unexpectedly became a feminist.

"Much like finding someone to love, you can't really know what to look for in a social cause until it crosses your path. You can use all the words that you want to describe what you're looking for, but at the end of the day, when you find the right one at the right point in your life, you'll know."

That’s how I felt when I eventually found myself leading an organization for women that strongly aligned with being a feminist. I barely knew what it meant to be a feminist, but I was embodying it more and more whether I knew it or not.

While I have accepted and have been labeled a feminist by others, I have recently been pondering and liking the idea of taking on the role of a humanist.

Humanist – (n.) a person with a strong concern for human welfare, values, and dignity.

Sarah Jessica Parker explains it beautifully in her interview for the August issue of Cosmopolitan.

“As [playwriting] Wendy Wasserstein would say, I’m a humanist. I’m enormously appreciative of the work that my mother’s generation did. We are the beneficiaries of a lot of disappointment, heartache, discouragement, and misunderstanding. But I see a lot of people trying to sort out their roles. People of color, gays, lesbians, and transgenders who are carving out this space. I’m not spitting in the face or being lazy about what still needs to be done – but I don’t think it’s just women anymore. We would be so enormously powerful if it were a humanist movement.”

I’ve endured a lot of pain and grief as an ally to African-Americans and the LGBT communities because I have seen circumstances impact people in my personal life. I’ve cried when they have been discriminated, disrespected, and bullied. And I’ve tried to provide love, support, a voice, and my words.

I read the frustrated posts from my fellow classmates and Sumner alumni when it came to Ferguson and the #BlackLivesMatter movement.

I have listened to struggles gay and lesbian couples have endured from not being treated equally compared to other couples.

And man, do I know quite a few beautiful gay African-American men with raw talents and fabulous souls. In our society, you would think they have two big “disadvantages.” And that’s a shame.

This is what I want people to start thinking about. Taking on a humanist point of view. Where you aren’t just boxed into one movement. 

I cried over and over the day the Supreme Court ruled gay marriage to be legal in all 50 states for multiple reasons. I was beyond thrilled that the day finally came and a lot sooner than I had imagined. But soon after, I was writing in defense of a dear gay friend on Facebook when an African-American past classmate of ours was not exactly being supportive.

My heart was breaking to think that someone who has been wrestling with the issues in the African-American community wasn’t being positive about a major breakthrough in another community that has also struggled and battled through the years. It had to be turned into a comparison of who has endured the most pain and fought the bigger battles.

We as people have become great at comparing apples to oranges. We are good at pointing fingers. Imagine what we could do if we spent that time on positive energy and change.

Let’s cross over the fences of our boxes to our neighbors and hug them when they feel defeated and give them a high-five when they achieve a victory. The warmth and love should feel comforting whether it’s coming from a person of a different color, sexual orientation, or man.

A good friend of mine once told me, “I also can't even describe how phenomenal you are for even caring about the things that you don't have to.” That had never occurred to me.

Matt McGorry explains this position well:

“Even now, I acknowledge that my own privilege affords me the luxury of this cushy and positive outlook on fighting inequalities and injustices. I have the choice to confront these issues — they aren't implicit in my life due to my gender, the color of my skin, my sexual preference, or any other parts of who I am as a person.”

I may get looked at for being the girl that doesn’t have to worry about other people’s battles and that it’s easy for me to cheer while on the sidelines. But it’s not. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I may have an upper hand compared to some of my friends. It’s not fun for me to see my friends hurt. And I also don’t forget that I am a woman and still experience my own inequalities and discrimination based on my gender.

But for those that are privileged for whatever reason they may be, I encourage you to use your privileges for the good of others. Put it to use. You may not know what you are capable of doing and how much you can make an impact on other people’s lives even if it’s as simple as providing a listening ear or showing up for someone else.

My ears are listening. My eyes are reading. My heart is feeling. My humanist yard is open.

Filled with love, from a big-hearted ally,

Black & Veatch 100 Year Anniversary Celebration

9:00AM on the first day of May,

I sat in a modern type chair in the new Rodman Innovation Pavilion at Black & Veatch. I was wearing a new outfit from Express and black heels from Target that easily made me feel fabulous.

I was nervous.

I checked my phone again. I was anxiously waiting for my new boss to come get me from the lobby and whisk me away to my new floor and my first cubicle ever.

An email notification appeared on my phone's screen. And then another popped up right after. I had my first meeting at 10AM and another at 11AM.

I still hadn't even seen my desk yet.

I didn't get to dip a toe in or ease my body into the waters of corporate life. I was shoved in. 

I needed to learn how to swim fast. 

The 9 o'clock hour was a blurred rush of office supplies and computer setup before my first meeting in which I sat at a large table in a conference room with a few glass walls. I immediately felt like I was sitting in an episode of Mad Men as our client walked in bearing cupcakes and a formal presentation on what they had to offer us.

They were going to be helping us with the planning, set up, logistics, contracts, and so much more in between for the 100 year anniversary celebration at Black & Veatch World Headquarters.

More times than I can count, I struggled to wrap my head around the idea that my job at the moment was solely focused on this one event and that I was communicating with close to 100 offices across the globe to ensure they held their own celebration as well.

Emails were sent to Australia, to South Africa, to Russia, to Saudi Arabia, the United Kingdom and more. 

A little over 3 months later, the event came to life. The maps and the diagrams and the layouts were no longer on just paper and sent in emails and discussed in meetings. I watched a man on stilts entertain kids, ate from one of the 28 food trucks, danced to the live band, and wondered among 6,000 guests in attendance.

I couldn't have been more thankful for the shove and learning how to swim and keep going in my first corporate job. I got to be part of a team and meet new people. The Excel sheets, stress, last minute changes, meetings, details were all right before my eyes. I learned what my 23-year-old-self could be capable of.

I sat at a picnic table and listened to the CEO tell the crowd, "The sun never sets on Black & Veatch today"as he explained that celebrations would start in Melbourne and end in San Francisco.

A highlight from the event was having Ed Eilert, Johnson County chair, in attendance. He is an Emporia State alum and was part of the Blue Key charter class back in the 60's and inducted into the Hall of Fame. He was at ESU when I was inducted at the re-charter ceremony in 2012. We were able to connect and chat quite a bit about my role at Black & Veatch, the event, and Emporia State. 

Ed Eilert and I at the B&V 100 Anniversary event

The weather was perfect and a classic Kansas sunset made an appearance as the event was winding down. By the time I was about to leave, it was already dark and I grabbed my things from the front desk of the Rodman Innovation Pavilion. Where I once was nervous, I was now relieved, tired, and a huge event for a global corporation was now under my belt. 

You can also read about the event here and here. Want to know more about Black & Veatch? Watch this really cool video!

Apartment Life: My Nook & Gallery Wall

This might be one of my favorite parts of my room.

Shortly before finding our apartment, I had come across this blog post on "But First, Coffee," which sparked my inspiration to create a corner in my new room that would be for writing, reading, and relaxing. 

I had a lot of fun finding different pieces that would be included in my gallery wall. I had never heard of the term "gallery wall," until I finally used Pinterest for what it actually exists for and stumbled upon this blog post, which stoked my creative sparks. 

I wanted a variety of things to be included on my wall. Things that would inspire me, make me smile, remind me of things, and be quirky and fabulous all the same. I was excited to find pieces from various places. I also wanted the frames to be different varieties. The black framed "Keep It Real" is actually glittery, but doesn't show well in the picture. The Sex & The City frame is a 3D acrylic frame. A cool effect that also ties in with my acrylic desk chair.

To hang them up, I first brainstormed by placing and sorting them on the ground as a way to start to get a vision going. I wanted a balance between colors and then it turned into different themes between the two walls, which was a nice added bonus. I pretty much free handed and eye balled when I hung everything up. It was nice to get messy and not so perfectly lined up. One of the cool aspects of gallery walls.

This wall reminds me to be myself, to keep it real, and also represents family and friendship, which I cherish dearly. And it might also remind me to be fabulous and funny too! (A great combo in my book)

• The toucan bird and "Don't quit your day dreams" quote - Hobby Lobby
• Keep It Real artwork - Shop Ban.do
• Sex & The City picture - Amazon
• Cats and Sprinkles artwork - Just Daydreaming (a small business from the UK!)

Can I tell you how much I love this chair?! I fell in love pretty easily. It was grey, which was in my color palette I wanted to work with and the studding gives it that extra dash of style that makes it me. I found it Nebraska Furniture Mart. The white pillow is probably the best pillow I have ever met in my life to date. It is super duper soft, plush, and a larger size for a throw pillow. The black pillow accents it very well with sequence and beading to give the whole look a touch of sparkle. Both pillows were from Pier 1. (The black one was on clearance for $9.95!) One thing that I have liked about the chair so far is that Anna and friends will sit in it when they visit me in my room. :) 

The wall containing "Don't Quit Your Day Dreams" also includes my picture from graduating college, our class picture from the re-chartering of Blue Key, my Blue Key certificate, as well as my I'm So Glam I Sweat Glitter decoration I got for a birthday present a couple years ago. This wall has a theme of chasing your dreams, but also remembering that it takes hard work. And you just might break a sweat doing it!

Needless to say, I am in love with my cozy little nook.

Putting Too Much Weight Into A Number

In these two pictures I weighed about the same. Maybe a poundish off, if that. With this post, I want to be an example to girls on how the scale shouldn’t be the end all or be all when it comes to our bodies. In the first picture, it was when I had realized I was in a time of my life where I had let my body get a little out of control, which started to make me feel self-conscious about myself. In the second picture, my body is a lot different.

When I trained for Miss Kansas USA, I had conquered those [Ten] pounds I had wanted to lose. But last week, the scale tried to tell me that all those pounds had missed me and came back. I knew not to fall for that. The training that I did and have continued to carry on (but not as intense at the moment) even after the pageant has changed my body a lot. My shoulders are defined, I have lines I didn’t know I could have, my back is pretty sculpted, my legs have a lot more muscle and shape, and now I even have a butt. (Something that I’ve been made fun of for years, but have enjoyed the recent compliments!)

Weight gain from pageant weekend in November to June 19

So maybe the “price I am paying” to have these cool features I’ve never had before is that my number on the scale is a little more. As women, we put so much weight (pun intended. I am not going to try to hide it) into the number we see on the scale, but I like to feel my body instead of look at the number. 

Please ladies, instead of looking down at the scale, look up at the mirror and see the progress in your body. There is so much more than that number. How are your clothes fitting? How does that dress look on you now?

This picture was snapped just over the weekend and thought it was a good visual of lines and muscles I have even with this "weight gain."

Ending with story time:

You know how Five Guys gives you a sack of fries pretty much? Well I ate them all. All of them. And even the whole cheeseburger tonight. And I have some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream waiting for me in the freezer before bed. For real though. OK. Bye! #NotApologizingForThatOne

Sunday Sprinkle: How The Dictionary Discouraged Me

How the Dictionary Discouraged Me

My lack of vocabulary has me discouraged.

Maybe I should have stuck to reading the dictionary that day

as an aspiring 8-year-old wanting to know everything about the world.

I didn’t even get through A.

Maybe I got discouraged.

Or maybe I had gymnastics practice to get to.

Now I wonder what eloquent words I can use in my poetry

because I am discouraged thinking my poems about puppy love,

immature boys, bars, and my broken heart won’t be good enough.

Now they’re really going to think I’m a beauty queen.

I’ve heard you can’t let rejection letters discourage you

and that it means you are one step closer to getting published.

22-years-old and I barely know an inkling of the world,

but I still have the 8-year-old aspirations to know everything I possibly can.

It’s when I think about all the books I still haven’t read, the songs I haven’t listened to,

and the movies I haven’t seen that I get discouraged again. The world is so big.

It’s all about time and what I do with it, really, though.

All this time I have been writing this poem,

I could have looked up synonyms for discouraged in the thesaurus,

which would give this poem flavor, but instead,

I chose to use [discouraged] as a motif.

Did you catch any alliteration earlier? Hmm.

…So maybe I have learned something since being 8-years-old.

Things a dictionary certainly couldn’t teach.

When I wasn’t reading the dictionary, I was experiencing things.

Things I can write about in the first place.

The dictionary won’t read my poetry anyway.

It’s you that I need to relate to.

I can go to the dictionary for help if I need it.

What I need is to continue living life.

You know, that doesn’t sound discouraging.
More like the antonym: inspiring