Sunday, February 22, 2015

Sunday Sprinkle: Barbie

The B&G Series -- To the Barbie Girls

Barbie

I stand in my box;
smile never leaves my face.
I’m on display
for all to see.

Some look,
but don’t touch.
They don’t want
to take the chance.

Others take me out
to play.
Try to take my clothes off,
feel my boobs.

The fascination lasts a couple weeks.
It’s about how long
it takes for the excitement of a new
toy to wear off.

Poem of mine is originally published in Emporia State University's Quivira 2013

Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel
@theglitterylife



Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The B&G Series: The Other Girl

This post is also published online by Thought Catalog as my very first online publish. One of the first inspirations for The B&G Series. 

As women, we typically hate the Other Girl. When we find out our boyfriend was seeing someone else, we tend to not like the Other Girl more than him. But, the farther I get away from what happened to me when I was cheated on and when my friends have been left for someone else, I see clearer. I have found my anger and hatred turn into sadness. I have become sad and feel bad for this particular Other Girl.

At first, we don’t take into account that this guy probably wasn’t honest with her. He wasn’t honest to you, so what would make him any more honest in the situation with the Other Girl? We don’t know what they were fed too. We ate up his lies, so can you blame her too? We can say, “It was clear we were in a relationship on Facebook!” But who knows what he was telling her. He could have been telling her problems in your relationship (real or fake) and that he would be breaking up with you next week. We don’t know.

When we become sober from the toxic relationship that we were in and when we are healing our hearts, we finally see those red flags and negative things we hadn’t picked up before. We now see the things our family and friends would try to warn us about. Maybe he was controlling. Maybe manipulative. Or maybe he was too immature or just simply not good enough for us. But we scoffed, rolled our eyes, and cued the stream of excuses for him because we seem to be good at that. Making excuses for significant others.

Now that you can finally see what type of person you had been dealing with, the Other Girl doesn’t seem so bad. Yes, there is some caddy Other Girls. They can do petty things such as start “liking” all of his Facebook updates the moment he changes his relationship status as if they had been waiting for days to do so. You can be annoyed, just don’t let it get to you too much.

But now, I may be feeling too sad for them. I should care less what happens with the Other Girl and her new boyfriend. It’s none of my business and not my problem now, right? But I can’t help to get a little sad knowing a girl got a second-hand, unoriginal proposal when I know it was the same plan he had made with my friend he was in a serious relationship with just months before.

It’s a little haunting to see your ex not be able to look at this Other Girl the same way he did with you. With love and pride that you are his. She doesn’t get that. She doesn’t have a cute story of how they met and started their relationship. It’s overshadowed by lies and unfaithfulness. Or her version of the story might be totally different than his. The air of dishonesty may lurk for a long time. She might forever wonder if the same thing will happen to her. She may be living self-consciously.

As the girls that have been cheated on, we can be pissed. Our feelings can be hurt. We can think she won and that we came in second. We can say she took our love away and our dreams we had with a man we thought was the one. And we can hate that she took away our sex too.
We can spend all night trying to figure out how she could be better than us. Because we think she must be if he is with her over us, right? No. I have come to find that I’d rather think about all the wonderful things I gained instead. How much life became better.

I think about the numerous people I have met, the trips I have taken, the adventures I have been on, the drunken nights I have had with my best friends, and all the times I have danced my heart out. I think about all the first kisses I’ve gotten to experience and the dates I’ve been on. I think about all the things I’ve learned I could do on my own and how it feels empowering. The things that would have never happened had I still been with him. I smile. Because my life became a lot more fun once I closed the door.

There are no more fights. I am no longer changing my dreams for someone else and no longer boxed in. I am not being controlled or manipulated. There are simply no more lies from him. The Other Girl now gets to wonder what the truth is. She has his insecurities and selfishness. She’s chained down now.

So I sit here. My heart can’t help but feel sad for these Other Girls. Maybe I am too nice, as I have been told. Maybe I don’t like seeing girls in that same dreadful position I once was in. But I also sit here wanting to thank the Other Girl for hurting me. I want to thank her for taking it all away and setting me free.
 …

See the original published article here on Thought Catalog 

Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel
@theglitterylife






Sunday, February 15, 2015

Sunday Sprinkle: The Kind of Guy

Next part of the Boys & Girls series---a poem

The Kind of Guy

He is the kind of guy that’s tall
and looks handsome in a navy suit
that fits him perfectly enough
for you to check out his nice butt.
His big gold accented watch completes it.

He is the kind of guy that’s charming
and smart enough to get accepted
to a long list of law schools even if
he still doesn’t know if that’s what he
wants to do. He buys you a drink.

He is the kind of guy that’s charismatic
with a large group of friends, but will
make conversation and flirt with you
in the corner of the booth because he knows
you are hot. He likes to be charmed himself too.

He is the kind of guy that’s sweet
and will hold your hand as you walk
to the next bar. He’ll tell you, “You’re too pretty
not to have a drink” and will buy you another
even if you don’t want it. He’ll say you can give it away.

He is the kind of guy that’s good
at kissing you on the cheek right before
he kisses you on the lips without caring
who sees. He’s good and tastes even better.
You wipe the red lipstick off around his mouth.

He is the kind of guy that’s aware
and can flag down a cab within seconds.
The kind of guy that keeps his cash in a clip.
When you two are alone he’ll help unzip your top gently
and be sure to kiss you twice before he leaves.


Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel
@theglitterylife



Tuesday, February 10, 2015

The B&G Series: Boy Categories

Maybe it’s slightly stereotyping, but maybe I am going off of experience. After 3 years of being single with a slight stint of a short-term relationship, I’ve encountered an array of boys and enough of them to start forming categories. Categories that also help me figure out how to deal with them and treat them overall.

So I present to you a few categories I have come up with and experienced. Now, when I group some of them together, there are a few exceptions that aren’t exactly like my description. I know this. So please don’t get offended. These are just some things to think about!

I present to you the following categories of boys:

The Frat Guys – These guys are about brotherhood, but more often than not, when it comes to girls, the bond gets a little gray and the lines get overstepped. It doesn’t matter too much if one has a crush on you. Others will still pursue you anyway. The parties, date nights, and formals are a lot of fun and should be experienced at least once if you are a college student. They know how to have fun and always make sure to.

Baseball Boys – I’ve heard about the stigma of them being jerks and I haven’t learned otherwise. I’ve pitched the idea with 3 different ones.
One – Led me to believe he was single when he actually was in a serious relationship with a girl long distance and tried to lie about it even when I had proof.
Two – Didn’t treat my best friends very well and I just wasn’t having it.
Three – Dropped me just as fast as he had reeled me into liking him.
To me, that looks like 3 big strikes. So I won’t be holding my breath for one to change my mind. Too many curve balls for me.

The Weekenders – Typically, you will only hear from these guys on the weekend. School, sports, jobs, and other things come first during the week, but weekends are for having fun and chasing girls. You see them at the bars with friends and flirting with girls. They may text you before the night gets started wondering what you will be doing and where you will be going for the night. Others will text you as the night is winding down especially after they see you out. Their level of attractiveness is high while any level of commitment is terribly low. They are the spontaneous fun time guys. Don't get your hopes up for anything more.

The Good Guys – Now these are not the average good guys. These are the really really good guys. Most of the time, they are from a small conservative town and have a great religious background. They can almost be too good and even make the good girls feel a little bad. Having grown up in a big city surrounded by both liberals and conservatives, different races, sexual orientations, and religions, it makes it a little hard to mesh well with them. They get tempted, but can feel bad making out with a girl they aren’t in a relationship with. But man, they will make great husbands with the right lady just for them.

The Charmers – Oh, the lines. You don’t have normal conversations with this person. It’s straight up flirting the whole time. They are smart and somewhat smooth. They challenge you and question you all the while you do the same thing back to them. They are fun to debate and compete with, but good luck having any relationship with them. Either they aren't really that invested in your or it's just exhausting.

The Lingerers – They like to lurk. On social media. They might delete you on Snapchat or unfollow you on Twitter, but they will most likely come back. Their egos are big and they portray a lot of confidence, but personally can’t approach me properly. They will watch my Snapchat stories and like my latest Instagram photo. When I see them out, they will look at me from across the bar, but not even acknowledge me as I pass by. But then they will promptly send me a Snapchat after I have left or text me after I have left town to ask me on a date.

 … 

Wondering where the bad boys are? They are so extensive, they get their own future post. :) 

Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel
@theglitterylife

galleryhip.com

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Sunday Sprinkle: Dot. Dot. Dot.

Dot. Dot. Dot.

I dot dot dot kinda
dot dot dot like you.
I might have tried not to
or think that I could.
I walked the line cautiously,
got caught in curiosity,
thought it might be dangerous,
it was all a bit mysterious.
I wanted to know you.
I wanted you to know me too.
Is this a crush?
Maybe a little rush.
Don’t they call it lust?
Or is this love?
I don’t know.
Cue the butterflies.
Make me blush.
Let’s talk for hours.
I like whatever this is.
It’s dot dot dot kinda
dot dot dot beautiful.

This poem of mine is featured in the 2014 edition of Quivira.*

"I dot dot dot kinda dot dot dot like you."
Words said to me by a boy once.
Have a Happy Valentine's week filled with love, goofy smiles, crushes, hearts, candy, cards, flowers, and butterflies in your tummy.

Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel
@theglitterylife



Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The B&G Series: The New Girl

Hello, February.

For the month of February, my goal is to focus on girls and boys. With three years of blogging experience, I know boys and girls are the popular topics. Especially when you mix them together and try to attempt this concept of relationships. 

It fascinates me. 
I love analyzing and discussing the wide range of topics and situations that come up with the sexes. My own life and the adventures I've had thus far have given me good examples to use and ponder. Seriously, I really need to get to work on a book just about my "dating" life. I have blue prints started. Then I have my whole circle of friends that are great at discussing, living, and sharing their experiences with me to sift through and be inspired by. 

February is all about the relationships. It's when our status becomes really public when Valentine's Day comes to stage for its yearly appearance. So what better time to talk about girls and boys?

This month, I am trying to be all about both genders. I'm writing about the different types of boys and girls. The good, the bad, the awkward, the romantic. I am highlighting people like the New Girl, the Other Girl, the Bad Boys, the Charmers, the Lingerers, and more. I'm writing opinions, depicting scenes, and posting poetry that brings these people to life. 

This is going to be some real life Sex & The City. 

But named The B&G Series (The Boys and Girls Series -- Not Biscuits and Gravy even though it sounds amazing) to be a bit more original.
You all ready?

The New Girl

They look at me. I see when he introduces me that they look at me – taking me in. The new girl. The first girl he’s seen with since he split with the last one he had been with for a number of years. They glance at me from time to time from across the bar. I wonder what they are thinking.

Are they debating if he downgraded or upgraded? Are they measuring me up against his ex? Do they stand there with a raised eyebrow and think, hmm, she is younger. Do they know me from my high school days or are wondering about everything they have ever heard about me? Are they thinking, I have seen her on Facebook?

I start to wonder if she would come to this same bar and hang with his same best friends once before. Did she laugh with them? What did she drink? He grabs my hand and I wonder if he held her hand too.

They look at me. I am his new girl. And that’s how they will know me. Am I living in a shadow? Are there expectations I have that I don’t know about? Take a drink.

When he kisses me for the first time, I wonder how brand new I feel. The new girl. With different hair his hands can run through and different lips he tastes. My curves aren’t the same. This intimacy isn’t the same. I am not what he is used to. I’m still the new girl. I’m not her.


Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel
@theglitterylife




Sunday, February 1, 2015

Sunday Sprinkle: When We Touched Down

When We Touched Down


We snuck in and only the stars
had seen us – they kept quiet.
We laid right in the middle—
on the 50 yard line. My mind
walked the line, slipped on nerves—
trying to keep my cool, hoping
they wouldn’t steal my stories
and leave me blank. I asked
if he wanted to slow dance
with me. He asked if that was a
question. Taylor Swift played
and he took my right hand and
let his other settle on my back.
We continued to talk and I tried
to keep my hair out of my face.
Each song brought us closer.
I let my head touch his chest and
I could smell his gray jacket for the
first time. We became silent like the stars
that were watching us like a movie.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and
let my breath touch his shirt. I waited and
the silence waited for him too. We
slowly swayed side to side when his
lips finally met mine. They finally met
mine. We stayed together and he picked
me up off the ground – my legs wrapped
around him. My eyes still closed.
He brought us back to the ground
and our hearts felt like they scored.
We touched down and the stadium
remained silent, but the stars that
spectated applauded from the sky.
He had won me on the football field
at three o’clock in the morning.


Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel
@theglitterylife