Monday, September 15, 2014

SEXY

Right now I am attracted to the word, SEXY.
I found myself the other morning, riding along the golf course pondering the word and what I think is sexy and also what makes me feel sexy. And you know, when I get caught up on a word, concept, or idea, I have to explore. And I wanted to talk about it too. So I started contacting friends. I contacted close girlfriends, my best guy friends, my writer friends, friends from out of state, different ages, and more. So…
What do you think of when you read or hear the word, sexy?

Okay, I have to throw out what the dictionary says to get us warmed up. I have to say, the definitions kind of made me fall in love with the word even more. It gives it the exciting appeal I like and “glamorous” was included, so who isn’t surprised, my girly heart was a little delighted? Also, please take note to the example sentences. (LOL)


Now we have a taste. I have recently subscribed [finally] to Cosmopolitan and Glamour. Cosmo pretty much always has the cover girl in a sexy outfit with a fierce face to compliment it. They also have a monthly page, “Sexy vs. Skanky” and these magazines are always coming out with more and more tips on how to be and feel sexy.
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But now, I want to slow down and really think about what it means and how my fellow friends interpret it. We are bombarded with the idea in numerous ways through mass media and seem to be going through life at a fast pace. I don’t know if we think about concepts such as this enough, let alone talk about it with each other. So I am talking. With you and other friends. And what I’ve been getting from you is fascinating. Ready?

First thing is first…the word is very SUBJECTIVE. Which makes it messy…but fun! So here we go!

Key words that stuck out in conversations
small    CONFIDENT   curves   fit   pErSoNaLiTy   attractive   dress   presentation   desire   alluring   attitude 

SEXY WOMEN
It wasn’t too much of a shocker to me that friends, male and female, usually talked about women first when talking about the word. Even though, People has the yearly “Sexiest Man Alive” issue, we tend to correlate the word to women and feminine things.

I found that guys tend to link their imaginations to what they consider sexy. Nick Welker told me, “Show a little, but not all of it” and Dane Haller said, “To show ‘sexy’ is to sometimes NOT show it.” Bryan Adams shared with me a depiction of a certain situation with a girl and elaborated; “Only getting down to the underwear though. Like, I know it’s in my mind, but it’s always sexy leaving something to the imagination.”

LADY CONFESSION on feeling sexy: “When I wear my best panties and bra with an outfit. It’s like my secret to myself.” --- Nicole Woods

negatives - - -
“As much as I hate to say this…A woman that a man looks at as a piece of meat.” --- Kirsten Zamarripa
Just about everything has pros and cons. I am glad people didn’t shy away from the negatives of the word. For some, they would rather be called beautiful over sexy and feel as though they just don’t fit the “type” to be referred to as sexy. A friend explained she isn’t the biggest fan of the word because to her when a guy uses the word, it means he doesn’t want anything more than what is usually correlated with. Which leads me to another friend pointing out that it means “of or relating to sex” and that it has a negative connotation to her. These things can hold people back from using the word or becoming uncomfortable talking about it. And that's fair enough.

SEXY MEN
Do men feel sexy? I asked about the men a lot since women came up more often. And I found men do NOT like referring to themselves as sexy. BUT they are definitely capable of feeling sexy. Nick explained, “When they’re in their element. Like, when I’m dressed good and in a situation where I’m making people laugh, it’s good.” For Bryan Adams, simple things such as rolling up the sleeves on a button up shirt and a good hair day can make him feel sexy.

A guy’s initial response to my first question: “Honestly? A fit girl at the gym working out as hard as the guys do.” --- Mike Vaughn

The Ambitious Confidence
.    confidence   .   confidence   .   confidence   .   confidence   .   confidence   .   confidence   .  
Confidence was definitely the most used word in conversation and I loved it.

Ambition was a reoccurring idea and that was awesome to see too. Ambition and confidence go together because, well, you need confidence to be ambitious. After Nick’s initial response, he added, “But then there’s also an inherent sexiness of a girl that knows what she wants and does it.”

“When a person just knows what they like and what they want, that shows.” --- Eden Tullis

COLORS: Red. A little black dress doesn’t hurt either.

The Look
I’ve attempted poems just about it, I’ve mentioned it in other poems, and might even dedicate a post just about “the look” because I love it that much. So I was thrilled when people mentioned it in their responses.

“But there are also subtle sexiness in things. Like the way a woman looks at me a certain way.” --- Tim Bartley

There is something sexy about a crush that goes deeper than eye contact when they look at you. It’s as if they are telling things to your heart without even having to actually say anything.

Sexy in relationships
With this, I have wondered if people feel sexier when they are in a relationship or if you can still be sexy in relationships and so on. How do they play a factor in the word, sexy?

From personal experience, as thrilling as it is to attract someone new randomly, it feels more special to be sexy for someone that means a lot to me and when they can make me feel sexy too.
My dear friend, Rachel Marshall, talked about situations in which your significant other makes you feel like you’re the only person in a crowded room and when you’re alone it’s as if “all other surroundings fade to nothingness.” She also finds little things like being in public and having his hand around her waist or on her leg when they are sitting down to be sexy. Spontaneous kisses are good too!

Vince Townsend pointed out that he never uses the word to try to pick up a girl because he thinks that when guys use it in the beginning stages, it can turn a girl off. To him, when you are in a relationship, it holds more weight because it shows her that she is still attractive to him.

What I personally find sexy:
just a big t-shirt and nice underwear   .   a fresh manicure   .    humor   .   showering while having U2 playing   .   a gorgeous & supportive bra   .   curly hair   .   the look   .   legs   .  heels   .
red lipstick   .   intelligence   .   ambition    .   Justin Timberlake    .    sweat     .    a dress that wears your curves   .   scruff   .   Katy Perry

In 2006, Justin Timberlake released the song, “SexyBack” and as I thought about this subject, I’ve wondered what had left? Maybe ownership of the word was lacking and it needed to be freed. He definitely opened the door to sexy with numerous songs about it and what goes along with it. And I am glad.
Had songs from this album on repeat while creating this post!
Kenzie Templeton told me she loves the word. “It’s simple yet sophisticated and it captures so many things in one instance. Sometimes when you try to describe something, ‘beautiful’ or ‘gorgeous’ just seems so lackluster and cliché, but sexy never gets old and it is always perfect.” Dane Haller said, “It’s a powerful word. Very commanding.”

Since thinking about the word and talking to others about it, I fell even more in love with it. As controversial as it can be and how closely related it is to the 3-letter-word, I love all the things that it encompasses. The feelings, the things, the ideas. There are sparks, colors, empowerment, confidence, and more that come along with it. We can let it be negative and that is fine. Everyone’s fancy is tickled differently. But I’m deciding to own it and run with it. We choose what we do with words and how we react to them. And to me, sexy feels good.

Thank you to everyone that was willing to have these conversations with me. You guys enlighten me and make writing even better.

I think the sprinkles on top to this post is something Josie Peterson said in her response that sums it up pretty well. 
"I may not be a size 2, but I feel like I'm sexy when I get up in front of people and sing. I feel like I'm sexy when I stand up for what I believe in because when it comes down to it, sexy is just a sense of confidence in yourself. If you rock what you're wearing, and what you're doing, you can be as sexy as you want!"

Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel 

Monday, September 8, 2014

The Small Things

Here we go.
A post that has been a long time coming. Ready?

I try to refrain from constantly posting about my experience with my body. I know quite a few people that are getting in shape and into fitness right now. I don't want to overwhelm you. But since this is a huge aspect in my life right now, something that a lot of people are into at the moment, and something I am proud of, I figured I would post about it.

I don't know how many times I have eluded to the time I started gaining weight and did a pageant at my heaviest I have ever been, but here is a picture to give you a visual. I cringed a little inside. I had already experienced signs that I was gaining and I wasn't fully confident in my own skin as much anymore. When I changed out of a shirt before work because I was self-conscious and not happy with the curves I was seeing, I knew something was going to have to change soon. That's not a normal thing for me.



So that's when changes began and they were small and gradual. Something I think a lot of people don't take into account when they are wanting to change their body. I don't think a 3 day program or a 21 day cleanse will help long term. There needs to be more that goes into it. I am NOT an expert and I am not perfect when it comes to this, but so far I feel as though I have learned some valuable things.

Ditching the icky stuff
I slowly started to change my diet. I started cooking more at my apartment when I was still in school. I ditched the mini tacos and pigs in a blanket meals I was having a lot the semester before. I gave up soda during lent so that would hold me accountable.

Slowly integrating the good stuff
I started working with a trainer from end of March to the beginning of May. Weekly, he would challenge me to do something new. This week try to drink more water (something I still struggle with). This week buy some Greek yogurt and try it out. This week add nuts to your diet. I wasn't expecting to completely do a 180 with my diet and stick to it. It's easy to give up that way.

Learning the ways of the weight room
GIRLS: It is GREAT to lift weights. You aren't going to look like a man. You might actually "tone up" faster than spending hours on the elliptical. I am so glad I got to work with my trainer in the weight room and start to feel comfortable with the weights. I still get a thrill going to the weight area wearing pink and gracing girly nail polish asking the guys, "Anyone using this?" and then getting to work. And who knew how much I would fall in love with squats?

A calorie is a calorie
I am thankful to have my good friend, Greg Farris, as a nutrition coach for the pageant. He has been schooling me on nutrition and also my workouts and what is best for me and my body. He has reassured me that, hey guess what, I can still have that sprinkled donut and eat out. It's about moderation and proportion. And that a calorie is a calorie. My fitness pal is a great site and app to use to track my daily intake.

Finding motivations
What keeps me going are goals and motivations. I used a dress I had bought and wanted to look good in by a certain date earlier this year. Now Miss Kansas USA is my huge motivation at the moment. I also think about my confidence when I feel and look good in outfits. Why are you doing it?

Challenge yourself & get creative
I did gymnastics growing up and my 8-year-old niece has been inspiring me to incorporate gymnastics into my workouts. I can do handstands again and they have improved and I recently was able to do a backbend by myself for the first time in years. I am considering doing some ballet to help with posture. I also want to work to get my splits and have challenged my mile time during my journey. Put some flavor into your fitness!

So what am I doing now?
  • I track my daily intake and put it into a spreadsheet that Greg has access to and checks in on me and my progress
  • I shoot to workout 3-4 times a week doing both weight lifting and cardio
  • On September 1st I gave up soda until the pageant with only a couple exceptions
  • On November 1st I will give up alcohol until the pageant with only one exception
Here they are: progress pictures!
January - August
January - August 
February - September 
March - September 
Definitely check out Greg Farris and his online coaching business, MyoBrain. His Facebook page can be accessed here Farris 4 Fitness and his website is here MyoBrain website
He posts articles about fitness and nutrition frequently and even has a youtube channel!

Also, huge thank you to Zane Guadagnolo, who was my trainer that taught me the weight room and more. He made a big impact on my workouts and made me more confident in the gym! ESU students should consider signing up for him at the rec!
I'll finish this post with a typical gym mirror pic in my new tank that simply says, I don't sweat, I sparkle. :)
Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel

You can keep up with my journey to Miss Kansas USA by "liking" my page Rachel for Miss Kansas USA! :)


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Bare

It was just a matter of minutes.
Only minutes went by when friends started contacting me to see if I was okay after I posted about taking a little hiatus from social media. Friends I hadn't talked to in months and friends from out of state. It was an overwhelming reminder of what a lucky girl I am.

I chose to take a step back and give social media a little break to do some personal healing. Instead, I spent time with family and friends, which was much needed. A lot has happened in my short hiatus, which I am sure I will post about eventually.

Also, I did a little reflecting and writing. A word I have felt lately and seems to be me right now is bare.  This past week, I physically felt it too by not wearing makeup and even spent the week with bare nails. No nail polish. Went down to some basics.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to contact me and send me encouragement, support, and love. And thank you to everyone who took time to hang out with me. You guys are the best.

Bare

I bare it all for you.
I live and learn lessons
so I can tell you about them.

I’ve become a trailblazing fool.
It hurts a little more,
but I still bare it all.

I let you into my world.
I give you glimpses of happiness
and spots of pain.

I bared it all for him;
finally uncovered my heart.
I opened the door when he kept knocking.

I exposed myself and slipped him my secrets.
From my muddy mistakes
to my self-conscious weaknesses.

My whole body was bare.
He took in every inch of me and loved it too.
It was the only way for me to transform.

So I bared myself to chance
and shook hands with risk;
making my whole being bare.

I muttered the [three] words
over and over again.
I loved a lot and lost a little.

He shook me up and picked all my locks.
I could write a whole chapter.
Maybe even a book about him.

The next chapter’s pages are bare.
It’s anxious for fresh ink.
Now it will be even more beautiful.

I can look at the moon;
the same one that shines over him miles away
and know he loves me too.

So here I am.
I’m bare and breathing.
Waiting to write my next story to share.




Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel