To All That Have Had Their Heart Broken

December 14, 2011

I felt like punching a wall…or something.

That was the first line in the journal entry I made that day. That was in the middle of the deep pains I would feel as I laid in bed trying to sleep and fight memories, replay things said, and make up conversations in my head with the person that hurt me the most in my entire life.

When I first started delving back into my faith and exploring my study bible in that time, there was an excerpt about comforting. I don’t remember the page it was on, but I will not forget what it taught me. It talked about a verse and it brought up the point that God puts us through some hard times and then later on since we have been through it, we will be prepared and know how to help and comfort others that will go through the same thing. I told myself that I will someday be able to help others that will go through what I did.

Just recently I have finally felt it happening with a couple friends of mine. One of them is so similar to me, it’s a little weird at times, but reminds me that God is working in some way and I will figure out what it is eventually.

So now I want to blog about heartache and break ups. Since I have dealt with it and experienced it, I want to share how I coped and healed in hopes that it can help others. Maybe it can comfort others and make it a little easier.

First step: unfollow, unfriend. Don’t follow them on Twitter, unfriend them on Facebook, remove them from Instagram, Vine, and any other social network, media, app thing you can think of. It really is unhealthy for you to allow yourself to see what they are up to, talking about, and see who is liking their things. It will be very tempting and you will want to look, but really, just don’t. It will be what is best for you. More than likely, you will not like what they post or you will read way too into it and it will suck you back into negative thoughts, memories, etc. Boys may think that it is “childish” or “immature” to do this step, but for girls, it really can take a toll on their health since we think and read into so much. Don’t think about what they think, just think about yourself and well being first this time.

Don’t let yourself think about the “good times” so much. When you catch yourself thinking about that one time you got butterflies or the person did something really sweet for you, it will make you miss them and it will conjure strong emotions, so you want to redirect your thoughts right then! Remind yourself of the positives and why it is best you are not with the person anymore.

Lay off the sappy lovey dovey songs and movies. I took a long break from “The Notebook” since it is such a romantic and emotional movie. Songs and movies that can move someone so easily might not be the best idea to listen to and watch.

Talk. Talk to family and friends. If you can talk to a counselor, even better. I went to a counselor at the school for about a year every week. It is nice to have an unbiased opinion and someone that wasn’t involved in the situation. He could also suggest things for me to do to help myself. Holding things in may lead to an explosion later.

Write. I wrote a poem about the time when it was suggested by my Mom and counselor to write and how I felt about it.

When they told me to write

At first they told me to write

as a way to cope and to heal,

but I was scared,

didn’t want to feel

those feelings again.

The pen that scribbles

ink on to the page

would be scraping

at the scabs on my heart.

I didn’t want them to bleed

again. I visited the pain

enough when I replayed

the conversations in my mind,

let memories make me cry.

Why would I let it come to life

in words onto paper.

Why would I want to save it for later?

Writing has always been an outlet for me and at that time I did not want to write about it. I thought it would be too painful, but I eventually started to and now I am not stopping. It really can be therapeutic and it is neat to look back on it later and see the progress you made. It’s a reminder of how far you have come and makes you glad you aren’t in that place anymore.

Workout. I do have to admit one thing I did like about that time was that I lost weight. It can happen and it can be motivation to workout and keep it off. Also, working out is an amazing way to blow off steam and get anger out. You can own your run or your workout. It’s all yours and it’s rare you leave a workout, not feeling good about it afterwards.

Surround yourself by support and inspiration.

Here are some of my suggestions!

Books: The Confident Woman – Joyce Meyer

            Eat, Pray, Love – Elizabeth Gilbert

            Traveling Mercies – Anne Lamott

Songs: Part of Me – Katy Perry

            Stronger – Kelly Clarkson

            Firework – Katy Perry

            Wide Awake – Katy Perry

            Thank You – Alanis Morissette

            That I Would Be Good – Alanis Morissette

(Any Taylor Swift song pretty much!)

Follow on Twitter: @TheSingleWoman

And then have fun exploring her blog posts on her website!

Shows: Watch all the episodes of Sex & The City. (I’m getting close to it!)

For those who are religious: Pray.

Read Proverbs 31 and read about the ideal woman.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3: 5-6

That night I had written about punching a wall, I ended that journal entry like this…

I feel like I forgot God is here with me. I don’t need to wait to talk to him. He doesn’t have finals tomorrow. He isn’t sleeping just yet. I can talk to Him now. He is here.

So remember, God is always willing listen and always has time for you!

When it comes down to it, TIME is really important. People will say time heals all things. I always heard, “it will get better” and it does. You have to get it time.

Here is another poem I wrote…

The Dust Has Settled

Time really did help to heal me

just like they had said.

It really did get better

just like they had told me.

Now it’s all memories

and pictures in places

and stories to tell.

The dust has finally settled.

&&&

So this is to all that have had their heart broken.

To the ones that have been cheated on.

To the ones that thought he was the one.

To the ones that never got him to commit.

To the ones that never got a text the next day.

To the ones that still think about that one night.

To the ones that have been used.

To the ones that have been led on.

To the ones that lost all confidence.

Things will get better. It’s uncomfortable, but that’s just growing pains. You are growing, learning and evolving. Don’t take it as a regret, but a lesson learned. Take notes so you can comfort others in the future.

Don’t let anyone ever dull your sparkle.

You're beautiful.

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

When Rain Falls In Love

Last night a small storm came rolling into Emporia. I sat on the balcony porch of my apartment and watched the lightening get closer and heard the first rain drops all the way until the rain came falling down. It was beautiful seeing it get closer, hearing the first rain drops until the steady rain came down. Lines started coming to me. Rain kissing the pavement, hearing the rain drops on the railings, railings I use to hold on to, to keep my balance. I had to start writing. I started writing and sketched out something I am falling in love with (irony). It turned into something and the last couple lines are some of my favorite.

It's cool taking things and comparing it to other things. (Metaphors) The lightning can be flirting, the strikes can be a touch of hand, the first rain drops are those first gentle kisses and the rain fall is letting go completely into the moment.

Sometimes people get scared or they over think things. They always have to think of the logistics, what to do, if it is right or wrong, or if the time is right. Sometimes people just don't let themselves fall, fall in love. Or maybe even fall to their feelings or simply fall into the moment.

When Rain Falls In Love

The first drop of rain kisses the pavement,

more starts to trickle down to earth.

drip, drop.

The water drops all boundaries,

lets the walls down

so it can fall

in love

with the pavement,

in love

with the blades of grass too.

It wants to be soaked up

by the summer soil that needs it

because the rain needs the soil too.

pitter, patter.

The rain drops collide

on life’s railing that I hold on to.

But the rain knows not to clutch

on to the clouds. They let themselves

fall freely in love with the ground.

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

A Super #WomanCrushWednesday

Twitter and Instagram have a hashtag for pretty much every day of the week now and Wednesday is #WomanCrushWednesday. I participated for the first time last week by posting an amazing picture of Jennifer Aniston. Now I want to do a super #WomanCrushWednesday of the beautiful women that I like for multiple reasons and who I draw inspiration from!

Sandra Bullock

She knows how to make good movies and she is funny. This lady endured heartbreak at the height of her career and did it with grace.

Taylor Swift

I draw a lot of inspiration from this woman with my writing. I love how she crafts words, lyrics, and songs. She is constantly displaying her diary for anyone to read which takes guts. She isn’t even afraid to take some risks while staying true to who she is. She also knows how to stay humble.

Lady Gaga

This is a bad lady. She goes through a lot of ridicule for her style and music, but she keeps on going! She has dealt with bullying and continues to fight against it with her Born This Way Foundation. A person that knows what kindness and acceptance is especially with her support for the gay community.

Katy Perry

This lady shows that she can pull off any color hair even if it is pink or blue! She broke records with the most #1 hits from one album and it was only her second album! I encourage people to watch her movie, Part of Me. You will have a new respect for this girl who didn’t give up on her dreams and who also dealt with heartbreak at the height of her career. A fun role model for sure!

Kate Middleton

She has big shoes to fill as she is consistently being compared to Princess Diana. She walks with grace and confidence. She owns it! She has an amazing fashion sense and is not afraid to wear the same thing twice even if she is a royal!

Jennifer Aniston

She was Rachel on Friends. I could simply just say that! But this lady also dealt with heartbreak (isn’t there a pattern here?) and also had poise and grace regardless. The woman is in her 40’s and still looking just as amazing as she did when Friends was popular in the 90’s. And the woman can wear her hair straight when wearing a gown and still make it look elegant and fabulous!

Eva Longoria

She isn’t just a pretty face. The lady has beauty and brains. She was working on her masters even when she was still filming for Desperate Housewives and just recently graduated last month. She shows that education is important and you can accomplish it even if you are a celebrity and have other things going on!

Tina Fey

Hilarious and a feminist. She also knows how to be a boss and run things. The woman created her own show and wrote for it too. Oh and acted on it as well. Multi-talented and still a mom and wife!

Kristen Wiig

She shows you can be funny and even funny like the guys. She hung with the boys of SNL and was one of the best cast members in her time there. She is a role model for the funny, goofy, and weird!

Emma Stone
First of all, the woman can pull of red hair like it ain't nothing. She has gotten to act along side Ryan Gosling in two awesome movies. She also shows that goofy is cute and gave girls the movie, Easy A. 

Thank you to these ladies who are great examples of confidence, poise, grace, and ones that know what humor can be and do!

Who will be your #WomanCrushWednesday this week?

Follow me: @rachelnmsparkle or @theglitterylife

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

Boys: The Semi-Annual Post

It was about a year ago when I first bravely made a post about boys. Then around six months later, I posted more things I learned. Now with the Victoria’s Secret Semi-Annual sale starting, I’m taking that as my cue to do my semi-annual post about boys yet again. You can never stop learning, right?

I went to lunch with my Ambassador bro towards the beginning of the semester and we had a good chat. He filled me in on some things such as how boys operate, think, and do things. I told him I was at a point where I wanted to play their game. You know the whole play the field and make sure to put my feelings on a tight leash kind of thing. He told me I wouldn’t be able to, that I’d get burned. Eh, maybe he is partly right.

“I wear my heart up on my sleeve like a big deal.” – Calvin Harris, I Feel So Close

As if I hadn’t ran myself thin enough with everything I’m involved in and do, I was running my emotions, feelings, and heart ragged too. There was a point I felt like I was dragging them on dirt and gravel. I even made a whole meditative poem about my heart for class. I somehow keep finding ways to incorporate my heart in my writing lately. People tell you that when you are single, it is the best time to “play the field” and see what you like and don’t like. I have been, but is there a point in which you can play too much or too hard? Remember last year, when dates seemed really obsolete in my life? Well somehow, I managed to score 3 pretty legit dates in a very short amount of time. While part of me was feeling lucky to get the chance another part of me was not all the way there and I was just…exhausted and worn out. I was tired of having the same conversations over and over. Hearing the same lines and sentences, taunted me or they lost their meaning and power. By this time I was getting good at keeping those feelings on that tight leash and tried not to get attached. With everything else going on in my life, I just wasn’t all there. So I recommend trying the multiple date thing only when you are pretty well balanced and feeling good about every other part of your life and you are just looking to have fun. If you need to focus on other areas in your life or you kind of want to just focus on one person, eh, don’t do it. It can be overwhelming.

Fall semester seemed to be all about boys that had girlfriends that would try to talk to me. Now it’s the season of meeting the girlfriends of boys that once had interest in me and vice versa. Times such as coming across one at the bar and we start to chat it up and then I get the “Oh, Rachel, this is my girlfriend, ________.” Or how about this one. A boy that I’ve known started talking to me just about every day and there was some flirting exchanged and even a compliment or two. It was on a Friday night when the guy was texting me and then I see him Saturday night out and about with friends. We exchange a hug, have a little small talk and then the guy proceeds to walk away as the girl he was with grabs his hand and they walk down the sidewalk  together. I wish I had seen my face. I’m sure it was classic with my over animated facial expressions people tell me about. I paused and looked at my friend who immediately made a comment about the situation being weird. Then coincidently I start to walk on with my friends and see one of those guys in the first scenario once again out with his girlfriend hand in hand. “Oh hey.” These moments aren’t lost on me.

For BUILD Beauty, I was finally able to do something I had wanted to do for a long time now. We hosted a “Guy Panel.” I personally asked boys that I trusted to be pretty honest and brave enough to participate in this event. There would be a panel of them and they would allow girls to pretty much ask them anything they wanted to and pick their brains. I believe I had about 11 brave boys that ended up being troopers for the event. Girls asked them an assortment of questions such as, does make up really matter, how do you like girls to dress, who should text first and how often, who should say I love you first, how do they feel about shaving, etc. Discussion went on for over an hour and then they were allowed to ask the girls questions. They asked a lot of the same questions, turning the tables on us. I appreciated their answers and it was interesting to hear them open up about the opposite sex. One of the things I probably liked the most was this underlying motif of confidence. It kind of always seemed to come down to confidence being the key. Yes, they like seeing us girls get dressed up every once in awhile (don’t need to pack on the makeup) but they also like when we can pull off some cute gym shorts and a t-shirt and they like if we can do that even makeup-less while owning it. We can rock the sweats and look good if we wear them confidently. Now, make sure you don’t mix confidence with cockiness! Oh, and another thing. They are just about as clueless and confused as we are about pretty much everything too!

You can watch footage from the panel at the ESU Bulletin website! They have 4 different videos that you can access on their YouTube channel through their site link I am sharing with you all. :)

http://www.esubulletin.com/2013/03/28/14711

Inevitably, I burned bridges. I lost someone that I not only really liked, but someone that was kind of like a best friend to me. But things happen for a reason!

“It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.” – Taylor Swift, All Too Well

Like I said before, I ran my emotions and heart ragged and I got good at not having feelings. I hadn’t had butterflies in a really long time. One of my last posts included a poem about butterflies and stemmed from that period of time where I hadn’t experienced butterflies in quite awhile and I contemplated that feeling and what it takes to feel that. It was actually shortly after posting that poem on the blog, that I had a night where I experienced them once again. It felt good. Boys: Girls like to slow dance. We don’t get many occasions to slow dance, but you can always create an occasion yourself.

I’ve come to find out that guys talk just about as much as girls talk to each other about things. There were times I encountered guys that had friends that I was friends with too and I would say something to one of them and then sometimes not even hours later, I would get, “Yeah, he told me about that!” We may think they only talk about stuff like sports, food, cars, hot girls and the like, but they actually do talk! So watch out!

As of right now, I am keeping on the down low and more to myself about this area of my life. Heck, you will probably find out pieces in about six months in my next boys post, right? I kept this post pretty general and left out lots of details. Didn't want to get too personal with this one. Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions for further posts! Or if you just want to chat! :)

Take time for yourself and be confident. 

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Proverbs 4:23

Sparkle & Shine

Rachel

My Looks Lately

First of all, let me tell you, this glitter loving girly girl is loving that glitter nail polish is IN. Thank you, OPI! At first, I thought "Teenage Dream" from the Katy Perry collection for OPI was all that and a bag of potato chips when it came out because it was glitter, but it had some bigger pieces of glitter in it. I was in love and wore it for about 3 weeks in a row which is a big deal for me when I usually change just about every week. Two years later and OPI is coming out with bigger and better (literally) glitter! It is almost a given that their newest collection will include a glitter.

I recommend:
The Living Daylights from the James Bond collection
Polka.com from the Euro Centrale collection
Lights of Emerald City from the Oz collection
When Monkey Fly from the Oz collection
Minnie Style from the Couture de Minnie collection

The Living Daylights

Polka.com

Lights of Emerald City

When Monkeys Fly!

Minnie Style

Towards the end of the semester, you enter in banquet season. Banquets and celebrations galore! So I had fun figuring out at least 5 different dresses to wear to various events I was to attend. Mom told me I could get a new dress and I absolutely fell in love with the Calvin Klein dress I came across. I was so excited to premiere it and look forward to gracing it again at the dinner and dance in New Orleans for the CASE ASAP conference in August!
I love the bold teal paired with the black. I wore black opened toed heels with it.

I also liked that it came up pretty high on chest and almost to my neck. I endured a dinner with a strapless dress where my cleavage was prominent. It was uncomfortable for me and probably uncomfortable for the others at the table! For dresses for dinners especially the formal ones I attend, I like dresses that cover me up because it is professional and I don't have to worry about how much is showing and the guests don't have to be distracted! We can focus on conversation and any other event that is going on at the time!

I usually keep my hair down. I rarely will pull it up for an occasion. I decided to pull it up for my interview for the President's office. I was going for the Sandra Bullock look in The Proposal when she has her hair pulled back and she looks professional in the office setting. I pulled my hair up and left a chunk out and then wrapped it around the band. This made it more sleek and put together plus hid the fact that I was wearing a hot pink hair tie!

Summer is here finally! Sammie did a buy one get two free pairs of shoes at Charming Charlies in the winter and she let me pick a pair out. I got these super cute pink sandals and I have been anxious to break them out! Now I wear them often! This is from their first day out on campus :)
I wore a lavender v-neck and teal necklace. I had purple toe nails going on. I played with bold colors.

Over Christmas break I got two new pairs of sunglasses from American Eagle. I got a patterned one that is navy blue with white hearts on them and then plain black ones. I love the hearts pair because they are so fun and I love the colors. I usually wear them the most especially on campus. The black ones I will wear when I am more dressy or going into a professional setting or wearing a professional outfit!

Occasionally I have to go with a laid back look like a braid and throw on my Aladdin sweatshirt! I continue to get compliments on it. I will Snapchat people when I am wearing it and a lot of people will make a comment about it!

I recently got my hair done finally! It had been way overdue since I was able to pull on my hair lightly and get a few split ends to come off! Don't let your hair get like that! I got it trimmed and colored the usual dark brown. Then got some highlights this time. They are pretty bold and gave me a little more edge. This picture doesn't really do it justice but snapped it tonight for the post!

Today I went to an awesome boutique here in Emporia called Twisted Sisters and got a couple bracelets I am in love with! Been wearing them ever since I got them and still need to plan my outfit for tomorrow to wear with them. :) Man I gotta take them off to sleep? One is a wrap around bracelet from the "Good Work(s)" brand. Part of the money is supposed to go to a good cause. It has a lot of encouraging words and phrases on it. For example: believe, faith, plant peace, come together, truth, accept diversity. I love the encouragement and reminders especially as I am about to enter my senior year and as I begin to focus on myself this summer. I have seen these bracelets at The Buckle and I am sure they could be found in other places and online. I also got a small bracelet that I paired with it that has a cross. I strayed away from my religion this semester as I got caught up in everything else and this was a great way to kick off the summer as I reconnect with God and and my spiritual being. Here's a pic!

As for my fashion wishlist this summer, I have my eyes on a pair of Sperry's (yes, I think I may break down and get some), a fossil watch possibly, and I really need to invest in some plain flip flops. I don't own any anymore!

Questions, feedback, suggestions, topic ideas, and more can be emailed to:
glitterandthegirlygirl@gmail.com

Thank you for reading! :)
Sparkle & Shine.
Rachel
@rachelnmsparkle

Where Do The Butterflies Live?

My poetry journey continues. This semester, I challenged myself and my poetry in different ways. The last poem of the semester that we did was the lyric poem. I was on a mission to make mine short and concise. I was inspired by one of the football players in my poetry classes. I loved how he could write short and concise poems with a big impact. So I wanted to shoot for something like him. Then I wanted to try to be more abstract in my thinking and in my poem as a whole. I tend to write in a narrative style and  also in the confessional mode. I am usually story telling or capturing a moment and telling the readers in a straight forward way. Most of the time, I am spelling it out for you. So I wanted to be more abstract like other famous poets. So here was my attempt at the short and concise while trying to be abstract in a lyric style poem. 

Where Do The Butterflies Live? 
Where do the butterflies live?
And how can I set them free?
I want to see them take flight,
I want to feel them in me.
They’ll burst bright into the open
like colorful confetti in the air.
I want to twirl around, be a little girl
and let them dance in my hair.
They can be ballerinas too
and bounce gracefully in pink tutus.
Let them swim in my brown ocean waves
to visit the mermaids in my mind.
They know the sweetest silence—
don’t share words of wisdom.
They left them in their cocoons.
They don’t need anything else
besides feelings and fluttering wings.
They are ready to fly, faithfully anywhere,
to spark something magical, to share
this feeling they’ve always felt. 
Can I let them loose all by myself or
does somebody else have to ignite
the light to let them flood free?

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

 

Semester Sweep

I knew going in that this semester would be my most challenging. For starters here was the leadership roles & other things I was filling:

Ambassadors - Vice President

Blue Key - Vice President & National Board Rep

BUILD Beauty - President 

Lambda Pi Eta - Member

Student Wellness Committee Member

Working as an assistant recruitment intern in the Admissions office

Writing/modeling for the fashion blog

Being put on the Homecoming committee towards the end of semester for next year

...and going to those six classes in between time. 

Those were just my roles, jobs, and duties to fulfill. There were times I felt pretty strained and I ran myself thin. I was also being stretched thin emotionally. Friendships have been tested and my reputation and who I am publicly have been tested. I took a leadership class this semester and I learned the costs for me as a leader has been time, stamina, and being visible in so many ways. On campus, out and about, and through the many social media outlets we have. 

There was also a death in the family. We lost a great man, my grandma's husband, whom was a grandfather to me. I haven't had much experience and tried hard to get through it for myself and also be there for my family. It showed me a lot. And it showed me love. 

I learned a lot academically too. I took a lot of core classes for my communication major and took my first public relations class. One of my classes was small group communication. We were assigned groups on day 2 of the class and we were to work as a group for the whole entire semester. This included taking tests as a group, writing papers, doing 10 hours of community service and doing a final presentation together for our final. This class kicked my butt and definitely showed me the ropes when it comes to working in groups. We formed a bond and even called our group Team Hammerpunch. I don't even know how many hours I spent with this group. It was very intense! Then I had a group for public relations and we had a real life client, the Granada Coffee Company. We got to work with them and present our PR plan to them as our final. Again, another challenging group project and my first hands on experience working in the PR world. It was fun and I plan to continue to keep up to date with the Granada Coffee Co.! 

Other highlights...

• Seeing Lady Gaga in concert TWICE!
  
• Escorting a Kansas Board of Regent when they visited Emporia State
  
• Starting my new job in the President's office
• Being selected to be a part of the Faces of ESU campaign and getting to do a photo shoot and filming for postcards and possible commercials
• Getting to help put on the Blue Key banquet recognizing 150 students at ESU
  
• Having dinner with Blue Key alums
• Becoming a member at my church in Kansas City
• Hosting the first "Guy Panel" for BUILD Beauty
  
• Going to the 150th Gala for ESU
  
• Having 3 poems published in Quivira, our student literary journal
  

The Blue Key banquet was amazing. Being on the other side and reading through the scholarship applications was really a neat experience. It was very inspiring reading over resumes, essays, and recommendation letters. It was definitely an amazing feeling to be a part of the selection process to narrow down who would potentially get scholarships. I loved giving back. And I can't wait to do it more often in the future. 

For my leadership final, we had to make a video about our leadership journey and what not. I had a blast making mine and going back and visiting old pictures and videos and reflecting on my journey, I was amazed at how much I've done and how much I've grown. Also, I love seeing all the pictures of the people in my life. I've been missing my family a lot lately and I was so happy they came and visited me last weekend. Yesterday, I was able to FaceTime my family as they were having a gathering at my house in Kansas City and tears were rolling down my face just being able to see them. I am glad it was invented. Now that I have digressed, I am going to include my video of my journey!

Our roommate has moved out and Kirsten will be moving in soon. I will be working here over the summer. Next year, I will be the public relations chair for Ambassadors and the President of Blue Key while I have Kristy lead BUILD Beauty. I will also be the scholarship chair for Lambda Pi Eta. I am anxious to see what the next year entails with the new leadership positions and changes in the my life! 

Kristy - Passing the BUILD Beauty torch to her!

New member retreat for Blue Key - Can't wait to lead these awesome people!

Thank you to everyone that has been a part of my journey and getting me through. Thank you to all that send me random messages and texts of encouragement or just random thinking of yous. It means a lot! You guys are the best!

Sparkle & Shine,

Rachel 

@rachelnmsparkle

Tough Choices [Lately]

I've had to be a big girl and make choices and tough decisions lately. I've had to think about what is best for me. A little weird concept that we sometimes have to implement in our lives. I had an opportunity come up and at first I wasn't going to take it, but talked it out and decided to go after it. I am going to start working in the President's Office at ESU. This means I will be leaving the Admissions office that has grown close to my heart as I have worked there for the last two years. It was tough to tell my boss who has been the best boss I have had yet that was extremely flexible with my schedule and didn't mind gossiping with me about things and humoring me about my crush on Ron Baker from Wichita State. It will be weird having a new job since being so used to the Admissions.

I also have been having to think about next year and what all I am going to be involved with. The future of BUILD Beauty has been on my mind quite a bit and people have even been asking me. It's time for me to start letting go and letting others take the lead. I told a couple of the girls on my board that I am going to be handing it over. I still want to be involved, but I need to hand it over next year so I can still be here as support when they take it on. I need to get them into it while I am here that way I just don't leave and it totally falls apart. Plus, I need to cut things down as I pursue bigger positions and things in other organizations. I've had it on my mind and after attending the district conference for Ambassadors, it became clearer to me that I need to start thinking and figuring things out. I can't keep running myself thin. It's been rough this semester doing everything, so I need to reevaluate. Having just about every hour planned 9am-11pm every day is probably not the most healthy thing for me! I've been so preoccupied with everything else that I've kind of lost some of myself a little in the mix.

So in about a week I will be starting a new job and then Anna and I are getting a new roommate next month! This will be my first summer being in Emporia so I am anxious to see how that goes. I am ready for things to slow down a little for the summer and have more time to catch up with myself. Among the decisions and choices there have been a lot of things going on. A lot of exciting things at that. It's banquet season and life becomes a busy non-stop kind of thing once April hits. May is just around the corner and I can't wait to make a post about the things going on as I wrap up my junior year.

Now time for the reevaluation process and time to organize. Time to refresh. :)

Sparkle & Shine,
Rachel

Another choice I made lately, wearing bold lipstick :)