Liebster Award

This is a nice change up for my normal blog post! Eden Tullis, a fellow Hornet and blogger, nominated me for the Liebster Award! Thank you for doing this :) Her blog can be found here --> Life Scribbler

And what is the Liebster Award? It's an award distributed by bloggers for blogs with under 200 followers. Supposedly, it started in Germany, as a way for readers and bloggers to discover new blogs to follow. It connects the blogging community and helps web surfers expand their horizons!

 

The Rules:
1. Choose 11 other up-and-coming bloggers and link to them in your Liebster post.
2. Answer the 11 questions the previous blogger set for you, then create 11 different ones for the bloggers you will choose.
3. Let those bloggers know you nominated them.
4. No tag backs. No mulligans. No puppy guarding. Okay, just don’t tag the person who nominated you.
5. Display the Liebster logo. 

Here are the questions that Eden posted for me to answer!

1. What makes you feel most alive?

Butterflies in my stomach

Laughing uncontrollably with friends

Going on a run

2. Favorite season and why?

I can never pick one! I love them all for different reasons.

3. Sweet or sour?

Sweet for sure!

4. What's your favorite meal to fix, and where did the recipe come from?

Chicken gumbo. It’s one of my favorite meals my mom makes and she gave me the recipe. It’s one of the very few meals I know how to make so far!

5. What are five things you are grateful for?

My family

My friends

Being able to go to college especially at ESU

Every opportunity I have been blessed with that has taught me things and helped me better myself

My ability and love for writing especially poetry which is something we may need more of

6. Would you rather read or write?

Write. I love writing and creating. It’s easier for me. I also don’t have much time to read and have a hard time getting into it when I can find little time. Sometimes bothers me!

7. When and how did you start blogging?

It was January 1, 2012 when I created my blog and made the first post. It was shortly after going through a tough breakup that I wanted to start a blog to document the new and exciting experiences I was to have. I wanted to write about things girls could relate to and I would eventually learn that boys have gotten things out of my writing as well which has been a neat feeling to have.

8. Who inspires you?

My family and friends. Also, celebrities that are artistic and creative that make an impact. Then the people that I may get to work on things with such as projects, events and more. Just about anyone can inspire me in some way even for the littlest thing.

9. Who is your favorite fictional character? (TV, movies, books)

The casts of Sex & The City, Friends, and Desperate Housewives. I especially like the Sex & The City and Desperate Housewives women because I love being able to relate to them in various ways and taking things from them that I can try to apply to my life. I love Carrie Bradshaw and her career in writing. To write about life like she does would be a dream job for me! I love how witty and strong these ladies are too J

10. If you had $100 to do anything with and it didn't have to go towards necessities, what would you do with it?

I really need some new tennis shoes. Wouldn’t mind some new clothes or a new watch. Also, I’ve wanted to get a case and sleeve for my Mac!

11. Favorite condiment.

Ketchup and mustard for sure. But I would like to note that I used to hate mayonnaise, but now I finally like it and have been putting it on sandwiches!

I don't know too many people with steady blogs, but I will choose to nominate this one cool chick I know named Fallon! :)

Fal Finds Happiness

My questions:

1. Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling?

2. What's your drink of choice?

3. Dream job?

4. Why did you start blogging?

5. What's you favorite part of blogging?

6. Cold or hot weather?

7. Favorite color?

8. Top 3 music artists?

9. What book would you recommend to a girly girl?

10. Favorite quote?

11. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Happy blogging!

Sparkle & Shine,

Rachel

JG - Forever Golden

Rawr. Jake sometimes opened up text message conversations with me with that word. I've been sitting here trying to come up with a way to start this and I have been struggling. Thought that might be a good random way just like him.

I wanted to write about him. You know that's what I do and that's how I usually deal with things. I write. And he knew that. 

I first had class with Jake, the semester I had my heart broken. He was in the class that I would go to with red swollen eyes from crying because it was the class I had after my weekly counseling sessions. It wasn't until our Communication and Sports class with Dennis that I would start to talk and get to know him. We somehow started chatting on Facebook and after a few days finally broke down and asked for my number. We started to get to know each other and he was actually one of the first to kind of encourage me to go out one weekend. I had never been out in Emporia and finally my sophomore year, I remember Jake and I talking about it one Friday afternoon around class time. He said he would be out and I did run into him that night. 

Not many guys have been able to really shake me. Really get me feeling. Barely a handful have, but he was one of them. He was one of the very first guys to make me feel beautiful again. One that really got me out of my shell when I became single. I loved his wild nature which was why I always thought of him when Wild Ones by Flo Rida came on. 

We eventually had a falling out due to another girl and I wrote a poem about him. It was one of my first poems I wrote when I really got into writing poetry. When it became a way to express myself and capture moments. It's even one of the poems that has been posted on my blog. It's called "Those Hazel Eyes." After time, we found each other again. It seemed like we always did. I eventually showed him the poem and instead of being hurt or upset about it, he said it was good. That's how he was. 

I remember a lot of things.

I remember when he made a doodle on my leg of a couple stick figure guys. One had huge hair.

I remember running my finger over his JG tattoo on his arm when he was over watching a movie with me.

I remember my last night in Emporia before summer while I was out with a friend, he was having a hectic time at work and he came straight outside to me and kissed me in front of everyone without saying anything. 

And that same night telling my friend to make sure nothing happened to me over and over before we left.

I remember when he decided to walk me to work one day. 

When he helped put my things in my car before I left for the summer.

And when I grabbed his face and told him I liked his scruff. 

I remember.

He was a communication major and in the communication department at ESU, we are a family. I feel like I lost a family member in the communication department, a friend, a crush. 

I can't believe he is gone. Scrolling through the countless texts we had together makes me miss him and I wish I could text him now. But I am going to stay strong and positive because that is always he strived to do and what he would want me to do too.

I want to thank him for showing me to be carefree sometimes, let my hair down and be a goofball. He always said "good deal" and if you ever see me text that to you, know that I got it from him. I find myself texting it a lot these days even before all this happened. He wanted to motivate people and be a life coach. He wanted to inspire others and make an impact. And he certainly has. He made an impact on my life and my heart. Thank you for making me feel beautiful and the cool nerd you thought I was. Thank you for all the flirty fun conversations. Thank you for making me laugh and being yourself.

Sparkle & Shine,

The pretty lady, the nerd, "hun"

We always sent pictures to each other, just never took pics WITH each other! This is our only picture together.

As I was going through old conversations these were a couple of my favorites that make me smile :)

Burn

Burn

You lit the match.

I watched the sparks.

They flew around me

until you saw me.

I was burning bright.

You had me hot.

I was for you.

My heart was too.

You lit my fire.

You had me going.

My flames grew high

and my hopes did too.

You burned right through

the walls I built.

They started to fall

like I did for you.

You lit my heart.

I couldn’t stop smiling.

I thought it was right.

Thought I had found

something new. The dust

flew off me. The ashes

from my past that burned

started to drift away.

You put me out.

The ashes twirled around.

You changed directions.

I was brought back down

like the ashes; they covered me.

They replayed what I had gone

through before. Tears trickled;

simmered my burning heart.

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

On The Verge

I'm on the verge.
I feel like a lot of people can relate to this, especially my peers as we are in this vital part of our lives trying to figure out what the heck we are doing with it.
I started this poem this summer and I have been tinkering with it and revisited it tonight. It still needs work I am sure, but I really like it more and more as I work on it and thought it was the perfect time to post it as we are on the verge of starting a new school year at Emporia State. I'm personally on the verge of my senior year of college. There are a lot of emotions when you are on the verge of something. I like reading through this poem in this fast pace as if I am on the verge of doing some of these things. There is this rush that you get when you are on the verge of something and my goal is to provide a rush with the repetition of words and the speed of the poem. Think about times when you have been on the verge of something great, bittersweet, exciting, risky, etc. The verge is the feeling, the burst of emotion that comes right before something big. It's intense. It's unknowing. It's scary. It's pretty wild, but can still be amazing sometimes.


On The Verge
I'm on the verge of a running sprint.
On the verge of starting my life.
I'm on the verge of ending something sweet.
On the verge of holding on tight.
I'm on the verge;
of trying something new.
On the verge with you.
I'm on the verge.
And on the verge of crying too.
On the verge of looking back.
On the verge of telling you what my heart wants to say.
I'm on the verge of knowing how I feel.
On the verge of something great.
I'm on the verge of writing my best poem.
I'm on the verge of knowing.
On the verge of figuring you out.
I'm on the verge of asking.
On the verge of knowing what to say.
On the verge of a final draft,
of falling asleep,
and on the verge of texting you.
On the verge of yelling and screaming.
I'm on the verge of running.
On the verge of telling you I like you.
I'm on the verge;
hoping you are on the verge too.

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

BEST. WEEK. EVER. (So Far)

I anticipated August and what was to come with it. I smiled at midnight when August finally came because I knew things were about to get exciting and I was going to be experiencing so many great things in such a short amount of time and I was going to take it in and savor it all.

My baby nephew turned 14! I went home to celebrate his birthday. Then I went from that to my first Sporting KC game! I worked it as an Ambassador for the ESU Alumni Night. So I was able to go for free. It was definitely a neat experience seeing the beautiful stadium finally from the inside after seeing it countless times from the outside. I was also enthralled with the energy of all the fans and their love for the team. It was nice to see that much energy going towards a Kansas City team. I feel like that is something our city has lacked with the Royals and Chiefs always up and down, it was awesome to see something new and exciting. I, of course, found a new crush on the team who is #20, Oriol Rosell. Come to find out he is younger than me and is from Spain. :) This photo is courtesy of my roommate, Anna, who was also at the same game I was at!

After the game, I hung out with one of my good friends from back home and purchased a new pretty purse and some pajamas for my dinosaur. :) That Sunday, I got a new MacBook Pro that I am already in love with and slightly attached to. Still trying to figure it out amongst being busy! I am so excited to see what all of this can do and be able to get really creative!

I had a chiropractor appointment in Kansas City on that Monday and have been battling some tough back problems. I went straight from there back to work to the President's office in Emporia. I had to prepare and get ready for the week to come. I was running around frazzled for sure!

Tuesday, Kirsten and I took a road trip to Wichita, KS to see Taylor Swift in concert! I really lucked out and happened to see a girl's status about wanting to sell some extra tickets she had and was the first to jump on the chance! It was Kirsten's first time seeing Taylor Swift and my second. I was happy to be there and took lots of video! She did a lot of my favorite songs. And I might have been on the verge of tears when she did All Too Well! I was closer than I was when she was at Arrowhead so that was neat! She has definitely been growing up and getting a little more sexy!?

After the concert, we journeyed back home to get a little sleep before we were packed in the van 8am in the morning to ride along for 16 hours all the way to New Orleans, LA! This was going to be my 3rd CASE ASAP national conference. I drove the big van for the first time in parts of Oklahoma and Texas! I was pretty proud of myself. It was close to 11pm when we finally arrived in New Orleans. I was so excited and ecstatic as we pulled into town and saw the Superdome lit up in pretty purple lights as we got off the highway. We stayed at the Sheraton which is the tallest hotel in New Orleans and we were placed on the 35th floor. Needless to say, the view was amazing and we could see the rooftop pool below us!

We decided after being cooped up in the van all day, we would visit Bourbon Street. For a Wednesday night, I thought it was pretty happenin'. I was immediately fascinated with all the lights, people, bars, drinks, etc. I loved walking up and down it and hearing "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke in multiple places. 

Thursday afternoon the conference started, but we visited the French Quarters first! Of course I had to visit the store called Razzle Dazzle. It was filled with all kinds of girly sparkly things! We checked in for the conference and we decorated our float. I was pretty proud of my crafting skills as I decorated the back! We had awesome team work going and ended with a great float!

Thursday night we went to Channing Tatum's restaurant/bar and we tried some gator tail! And it tasted like chicken!

On Thursday night, we got a little taste of Bourbon Street! Tayler, Amanda, and I tried out a Hurricane slushy! There were so many places that you could just walk up to and get a slushy drink! Definitely refreshing on a hot evening out. :)

Friday was the day of the big game! We were able to go to the Saints vs Chiefs game! I was super ecstatic and could barely contain my excitement! I was so excited to have that experience because not only was I getting to watch the Saints in the Super Bowl, they were playing the Chiefs! For it being the first game of the preseason, it was pretty packed. I got goosebumps quite a bit and couldn't believe I was hearing the "WHO DAT" chant and watching Drew Brees live in person! The Superdome is absolutely huge and beautiful.

Saturday was a little rough because I started having back pains again and this time they were worse. I was in so much pain and my energy was low. I laid down a couple times to try to rest up and get motivated because Amanda and I were supposed to do a 45 minute presentation at 2. I laid down in my sea of blankets in the big comfy bed and listened to some music while I got ready. I was able to pull off the presentation and worked through the pain. We really rocked it! I couldn't have been more pleased. I loved our ballroom we presented in and we had a great turn out!

Saturday night was the banquet. We got all dressed up and I'd say our group looked sharp! :)

Afterwards, we went out on Bourbon Street and had a good time! I was anxious to see what it would be like on a Saturday night and man was it interesting! I thought beads were just used for Mardi Gras, but apparently that isn't the case! People were throwing beads from balconies and they littered the streets along with all the other trash that was on the sides of them that night. People told me that Bourbon Street smelled and they weren't lying. It does smell, but luckily it didn't bother me too much. We went to Pat O'Briens and a couple other places and chatted with people from Texas to Michigan.

New Orleans is very different from Kansas. I hadn't been in a city like that before and I am so glad I was able to have that experience. There is a lot of culture and differences. The food, the music, the party. I was floored when I walked out of our hotel Wednesday night to immediately see people sipping on drinks from fish bowls and other tall cups! CVS that was down the street from us had their own liquor section. There were beads galore and I tried beignets for the first time for breakfast. People dance and sing and perform on the streets and it's all normal. And it's hot. There were times I was outside for a short amount of time and then I was ready for a shower!

The conference was great and I was able to snag a couple of the coveted University of Florida shirts and a couple UCLA shirts that I can't wait to wear when I am not in my ESU apparel. I came home with a total of 11 free t-shirts. :) Life of a college student leader I suppose!

We drove the 16 hours ago and I took a shift driving again. It happened to be on Dallas highways that were under construction in the 5 o'clock hour. I was feeling quite frazzled, but courageous and brave at the same time!

I am exhausted still and trying to catch up on sleep again. But it was all worth it and all fabulous. :)

More pictures can be found on my Facebook!

PS. Pretty excited to say I was asked to do an opinion column for the ESU Bulletin newspaper! So what all shall I write about readers?!

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

Blue Key Retreat - Golden, CO

I was greeted with hugs.
I was going to spend the weekend with the Blue Key national board. 3 students including myself and the 5 adults that have positions on the board. This was my first retreat with them since I was elected in January.
I arrived in Golden, CO and was immediately enchanted with the absolutely adorable town. The woman that coordinated the Blue Key retreat trip lives there and works at the Colorado School of Mines. She drove us around campus and told us some stories. There is a mountain that is seen from a distance with a big M on it. She told us of the tradition that every year, the incoming freshman brings a 10lb rock from their hometowns and carry it up the mountain to the M and they go back when they graduate to get their rock back. At night it lights up. I looked up the tradition on their website and come to find out, the tradition was started by the Blue Key group there and still to this day is taken care of by them. You can look at more info here. http://www.mines.edu/Traditions

The M on the mountain lit up at night.

We passed by a newer looking building and Michelle told us that the building was funded by an alum in his 30's that donated $10 million dollars for it to be built. I am pretty sure my jaw dropped. It is pretty amazing for an alum to donate $10 million dollars, but for them to be in their 30's is just extraordinary. The school is a pretty STEM heavy school. That means a lot of the programs have to do with science, technology, engineering and math. And that also means, that the boy population is a lot higher than the girl population which is quite the opposite to ESU.

City lights in Golden

I roomed with the other girl that serves on the board as a student. She just graduated from the University of Toledo. We quickly learned that we are similar and have stories that are quite a lot alike. It goes to show that yes, everyone's story is unique, but there are people that go through the same things. You aren't alone. So we bonded over the same things, but also, shared our stories that made us different too.

I learned a lot about Blue Key at a national level. And even learned some Emporia ties to it. I learned that Florida disaffiliated themselves with the national organization because they didn't want to deal with the GPA side of it and such. So all the Florida Blue Keys operate on their own. And apparently Tim Tebow was a Blue Key at the University of Florida and you can see it on his list of achievements here. http://www.gatorzone.com/football/misc.php?p=tebow/bio
Then irony came about when we decided to move the national documents to the University of Georgia archives. They will be sitting quite close to Florida. College fans probably know of the Georgia/Florida rivalry!

The board is made up of interesting people. 4 men and 1 woman. As I had said before, Michelle is from Colorado, then we have the director from Ohio, President from Portland, and the other two are from Alabama and Georgia. It was cool hearing their stories from all across the country. The board had joked about the President of the board and how they had written on his name tag, FOP (Friend of the Pope) at a conference. I went along and chuckled as they told me the story. I didn't know if it was a joke or maybe he did meet the Pope before? As the weekend progressed and I was enchanted with this man's stories, I finally asked if he was a friend of the Pope because it really seemed like a possibility now. I found out he really did meet the Pope and past ones. He's on the invite list to dinners and pretty sure he has been in the White House and met Presidents. Then I think about how he asked about my nail polish and if I sprinkled on the glitter or what. Makes me chuckle inside a little. Now I can't wait for conference in January so I can hear even more stories! And to think I get to sit on a board with these cool people? So lucky and blessed!

The Board

We had dinner at Michelle's house on Saturday and she literally lives on a mountain! It was about a half hour drive to her place from the hotel and most of it was winding up the mountain! I was in awe when I got out of the car and felt the cool crisp chill after the rainstorm that was happening on the way there. I was surrounded by mountains and trees. Later on when I was taking in the beauty, I could see the sun hitting the tip of a mountain across the way and then there was a little rainbow on top of another. It didn't take long for me to fall in love.

View from Michelle's porch.

You can see the sun hitting the top of the mountain in the distance.

The trip overall was great and I learned a lot from the people, organization, and town. I even had probably the most expensive wine I have had in my life to date! Colorado really touched my heart and I can't wait to go back sometime to see those mountains again! Sunday morning, I was left with hugs. And it meant a little more that time.

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel

.....

There was about a four hour delay at the airport going back to Kansas City. I tweeted asking for 3-6 word suggestions and I would write a poem. I was given dinosaurs, Jurrasic Park and paleontologist. I thought about it for awhile and started sketching stuff and then finally came up with this and it actually is becoming a favorite of mine. I like when I can get in a zone and crank out something. Here it is!

To All That Have Had Their Heart Broken

December 14, 2011

I felt like punching a wall…or something.

That was the first line in the journal entry I made that day. That was in the middle of the deep pains I would feel as I laid in bed trying to sleep and fight memories, replay things said, and make up conversations in my head with the person that hurt me the most in my entire life.

When I first started delving back into my faith and exploring my study bible in that time, there was an excerpt about comforting. I don’t remember the page it was on, but I will not forget what it taught me. It talked about a verse and it brought up the point that God puts us through some hard times and then later on since we have been through it, we will be prepared and know how to help and comfort others that will go through the same thing. I told myself that I will someday be able to help others that will go through what I did.

Just recently I have finally felt it happening with a couple friends of mine. One of them is so similar to me, it’s a little weird at times, but reminds me that God is working in some way and I will figure out what it is eventually.

So now I want to blog about heartache and break ups. Since I have dealt with it and experienced it, I want to share how I coped and healed in hopes that it can help others. Maybe it can comfort others and make it a little easier.

First step: unfollow, unfriend. Don’t follow them on Twitter, unfriend them on Facebook, remove them from Instagram, Vine, and any other social network, media, app thing you can think of. It really is unhealthy for you to allow yourself to see what they are up to, talking about, and see who is liking their things. It will be very tempting and you will want to look, but really, just don’t. It will be what is best for you. More than likely, you will not like what they post or you will read way too into it and it will suck you back into negative thoughts, memories, etc. Boys may think that it is “childish” or “immature” to do this step, but for girls, it really can take a toll on their health since we think and read into so much. Don’t think about what they think, just think about yourself and well being first this time.

Don’t let yourself think about the “good times” so much. When you catch yourself thinking about that one time you got butterflies or the person did something really sweet for you, it will make you miss them and it will conjure strong emotions, so you want to redirect your thoughts right then! Remind yourself of the positives and why it is best you are not with the person anymore.

Lay off the sappy lovey dovey songs and movies. I took a long break from “The Notebook” since it is such a romantic and emotional movie. Songs and movies that can move someone so easily might not be the best idea to listen to and watch.

Talk. Talk to family and friends. If you can talk to a counselor, even better. I went to a counselor at the school for about a year every week. It is nice to have an unbiased opinion and someone that wasn’t involved in the situation. He could also suggest things for me to do to help myself. Holding things in may lead to an explosion later.

Write. I wrote a poem about the time when it was suggested by my Mom and counselor to write and how I felt about it.

When they told me to write

At first they told me to write

as a way to cope and to heal,

but I was scared,

didn’t want to feel

those feelings again.

The pen that scribbles

ink on to the page

would be scraping

at the scabs on my heart.

I didn’t want them to bleed

again. I visited the pain

enough when I replayed

the conversations in my mind,

let memories make me cry.

Why would I let it come to life

in words onto paper.

Why would I want to save it for later?

Writing has always been an outlet for me and at that time I did not want to write about it. I thought it would be too painful, but I eventually started to and now I am not stopping. It really can be therapeutic and it is neat to look back on it later and see the progress you made. It’s a reminder of how far you have come and makes you glad you aren’t in that place anymore.

Workout. I do have to admit one thing I did like about that time was that I lost weight. It can happen and it can be motivation to workout and keep it off. Also, working out is an amazing way to blow off steam and get anger out. You can own your run or your workout. It’s all yours and it’s rare you leave a workout, not feeling good about it afterwards.

Surround yourself by support and inspiration.

Here are some of my suggestions!

Books: The Confident Woman – Joyce Meyer

            Eat, Pray, Love – Elizabeth Gilbert

            Traveling Mercies – Anne Lamott

Songs: Part of Me – Katy Perry

            Stronger – Kelly Clarkson

            Firework – Katy Perry

            Wide Awake – Katy Perry

            Thank You – Alanis Morissette

            That I Would Be Good – Alanis Morissette

(Any Taylor Swift song pretty much!)

Follow on Twitter: @TheSingleWoman

And then have fun exploring her blog posts on her website!

Shows: Watch all the episodes of Sex & The City. (I’m getting close to it!)

For those who are religious: Pray.

Read Proverbs 31 and read about the ideal woman.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3: 5-6

That night I had written about punching a wall, I ended that journal entry like this…

I feel like I forgot God is here with me. I don’t need to wait to talk to him. He doesn’t have finals tomorrow. He isn’t sleeping just yet. I can talk to Him now. He is here.

So remember, God is always willing listen and always has time for you!

When it comes down to it, TIME is really important. People will say time heals all things. I always heard, “it will get better” and it does. You have to get it time.

Here is another poem I wrote…

The Dust Has Settled

Time really did help to heal me

just like they had said.

It really did get better

just like they had told me.

Now it’s all memories

and pictures in places

and stories to tell.

The dust has finally settled.

&&&

So this is to all that have had their heart broken.

To the ones that have been cheated on.

To the ones that thought he was the one.

To the ones that never got him to commit.

To the ones that never got a text the next day.

To the ones that still think about that one night.

To the ones that have been used.

To the ones that have been led on.

To the ones that lost all confidence.

Things will get better. It’s uncomfortable, but that’s just growing pains. You are growing, learning and evolving. Don’t take it as a regret, but a lesson learned. Take notes so you can comfort others in the future.

Don’t let anyone ever dull your sparkle.

You're beautiful.

Sparkle & Shine.

Rachel