It seemed as if God came swooping down and had to do something for me to really get the message he was trying to get across to me.
Ever since I have been home for winter break, I have gone to bed later and later into the night. And not really for any particular reason. I noticed that it kind of became a challenge for me to get to sleep when usually that's not a problem. Some nights, I would think about moments, conversations, life, questioning things, planning, even coming up with lines of poetry in my mind just trying to get to sleep. Or I would lay there and keep checking social media over and over. As days went on, I would get to bed at 1am, sometimes 2am and it even got to be about 3-4am on some nights. Last night, I started to get frustrated. It was past 1am and I was wide awake on my computer. 2am rolls by and my body doesn't feel like going to sleep. My mind is still going. I did some writing, reading, tweeting. I even tweeted about not being a huge fan of staying up late now thinking of life and how I can't wait for school to start again. I wanted my old sleep schedule back. 3am comes and I shut my Mac, take the headphones out and decide to read to hopefully help me get to sleep soon.
I am determined to finish The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass soon. So I pick that up and decide to read a couple chapters. I get through one and then the next chapter is titled, "Be Still." She starts every chapter with a quote or bible verse. This one started with, "Be still, and know that I am God."--Psalm 46:10. She starts her whole point of the chapter with a metaphor using her cat. She explains her cat never failed to push its food bowl to the middle of the kitchen floor when it started to get low and wanted more food. Every time it would do this, start circling around her feet and then start meowing until it he got more food. Mandy Hale explains that she would always feed him, but he would still do this no matter what. She says that in this situation we are sometimes like her cat. We meow and meow asking God why he hasn't answered our prayers yet. What's taking so long? What am I doing? Where am I going to be? Why am I not in a relationship? Why isn't anything happening now? We want Him to fill our bowls when we want Him too. So I was trying to get through the last page when my left leg starting twitching. It felt like a muscle spasm which I thought was my body trying to tell me it was tired and I really needed to get to sleep soon. So I trudged on trying to get through this last page, but my leg wouldn't stop. I put my hand on it and tried to get through the last couple paragraphs. It was getting really intense and then it crossed my mind--Was this God frantically tapping me on the leg trying to tell me: This is what I want you to know! This is it! This is it! This is why you haven't been sleeping well! This is what you need to know right now. Here is an answer for you! Pay attention! Take note! I want you to read this! I finally finished the last couple paragraphs and then it stopped. The twitching completely went away. Then it really hit me. That was it. God just showed me something. I laid there with wide eyes trying to process what I read. I read it over again and noticed that my leg didn't twitch what so ever again. And I finally felt relaxed. He wanted me to "be still." I thought more about what had happened. Maybe not only was God tapping my leg to make sure I got His point, but maybe this was an example of how I can keep questioning and keep bugging God about things and it can get a little annoying. The twitching was distracting and a little obnoxious when I was trying to read. I need to be still and just trust God to fill my bowl because he will. He won't forget about me. Things work out and I know this. It has been proved to me time and time again. Now I need to learn to be still until then. This really was what I needed to know.
I love when He does this. Reminds me that He really is there and He knows. He showed me something that I needed to understand. I need to be still and trust. I need to relax and let him work. I just need to do my part and let Him do His.
After I took that in, I felt very relaxed and finally eased right to sleep.
This reminded me a lot of the 3 Pennies story that I posted on here awhile back when He seemed to work His message to me in a certain way.
You can read it here: 3 Pennies
It was a little intense and scary at first, but so beautiful and wondrous. Very thankful and glad it happened. Now I am trying to continue to be still and plan to remind myself a lot this year to do so.
Sparkle & Shine.
Rachel
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