Journal Scribble: I Miss You

January 27 -- My bed

I don’t really know who I miss. Or what I miss. Or where I miss. The more people I meet, the more places I go, the more things I experience; the more I miss. Sometimes I think about how I always will be constantly missing someone, somewhere, something. Maybe it’s a thing that happens when your heart is real big.

I Miss You.

I Miss You by Blink 182 has been a favorite song of mine since about the 6^th grade. It’s a song that has been part of numerous stages, people, and moments in my life. A lot of songs are tied to people, places, and things, but this one has the most wear. It started in middle school when I would listen to it over and over again thinking about my crush and wishing he would notice me. When I daydreamed about what my first kiss would be like. In high school, I would listen to it and think about how much I missed the boy I screwed things up with. The first one I loved or at least what my high school heart could handle. I would visit it in college and a lot of times I wrote with it on repeat. I’ve fantasized about slow dancing to it with a boy. My insides move and my eyes close when Mark sings, “Wish this never ends” and the music swells. I went on a date in college at this place outside of town and had a delicious dinner followed by a couple drinks in a dive bar. He drove us back to town and on the dark country road we found out how much we both like Blink 182. We both sang along to it and that night would be the first time he kissed me. I’ve had tears in my eyes when Tom Delonge asks, “Will you come home and stop this pain tonight, stop this pain tonight?” I’ve probably listened to it more than 1,000 times over the years and that is not an exaggeration. As I sit here writing with it on repeat, I’m still not sure who I miss, what I miss, or where I miss. But I do know I’m always missing something.