Things I Could Do List

I can finally stop resisting fall and fully embrace it now that it actually began last week. I have already tried a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte for the first time and I even tried their brand new Toasted Graham Latte the day it came out. My nails are a dark purple and our fall "Welcome" mat is now on our doorstep. So let's proceed to the good stuff.

I am one of those suckers for changes in seasons and new months and heck, sometimes new weeks. My life has been far from chill and alone time has been non-existent. This last weekend though, I finally booked a weekend for myself and said no to pretty much any invite that came my way. This included 3 different P&L happy hours, I might add.

So last weekend I decided to devote its entirety to getting s#!t stuff done as well as letting myself relax and do things I love. By the end of it, I was feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and accomplished. But how did I keep myself on track?

Lists are a love of mine. I need them. So my cluttered brain can remember what the heck I need to do and to help my distracted mind stay somewhat focused. Over the weekend, I had some errands I had to run and things I did have planned at a certain time, but the rest was going to be guided by my "Things I Can Do This Weekend" list.

It was broken into categories: Errands, Blog, Adulting, Random

I wrote down anything and everything I could think of that I have been wanting to get done for months, had put off, or just wanted to do. As soon as I got home from work that Friday, I excitedly hung it up on the fridge and happily highlighted things I completed as I finished them. It was a nice visual and a great central place to be seen and reminded.

One thing I really like about this idea, this list, is that it wasn't so daunting being called a "to-do" list where it makes me feel like I have to get everything done. It's a "things I could do" list. I had all these things I could do and refer to throughout the weekend. There was no way I could have any time to be bored.

I didn't get every single thing done, but I did accomplish a lot and even more that wasn't on the list too. I enjoyed my weekend so much and loved the feeling of tackling a bunch of stuff finally. So I made you your own "Things I Could Do" list that you can use for a weekend or a whole week. Whatever time frame would work best for your schedule!

Feel free to save the image or if you prefer to have a PDF version, give me your email in the comment section below or contact me at thegirlygirl@theglitterylife.com and I will send it your way!

Let me know how your list goes and how you feel afterward!

That One Time I Wanted a Bloody Mary

I just wanted a damn Bloody Mary.

It was a rough week of work. Friday rolled around finally and I wanted to satisfy my craving for a Bloody Mary. I was going to get one even if it meant achieving it alone. I was supposed to have a date that night and he had cancelled again. So I really was going to do what I wanted because that kind of stuff can't stop, won't stop me.

As soon as I got home, I threw on a dress and freshened up my lipstick and hair. Then I made my way to Yard House all by myself and I walked in and told the hostess it was just me and I wanted to sit outside on the patio. It would be a 45 minute wait. I told her I would go shop and come back and I took that black brick so it could buzz at me when they were ready and thew it in my purse.

I made my way to Off Broadway shoes store and started trying on an array of high heels that I had my eyes on. I was trying to get my strappy sandals back on so I could start making my way back to Yard House when all of the sudden one of the straps broke. Completely broke. I looked at the time and frantically thought, well I am in a shoe store, surely I can buy a pair of sandals real quick! 

Hobbling around with a broken sandal, I went down the isles and tried a couple on, but couldn't find a pair that I loved and would actually spend $40+ on. I kept checking the time knowing that any minute, they would be trying to buzz that black brick, but I wouldn't know because I was way down the way at another store.

So I decided I would suck it up and take myself back to Yard House with my broken shoe. I hurried as much as I could in the done-for-sandal with the heat of the summer sun making me start to sweat. I made my way down the front hall of Yard House and waited.

I looked around me and finally noticed all the couples and the groups of girls. There was a huge country concert that would be happening that night. Couples dressed up nicely. Girls with their perfectly fresh blonde curls, cute outfits, and boots to go with them.

Here I was; frazzled, hot, standing there waiting wearing my broken sandal. I wore a bright dress and my short brown hair was fiercely slicked back.

I started to get uncomfortable. But I had gone out to eat alone plenty of times! I told myself. But it wasn't on a Friday night, in a dress, full makeup, surrounded by people that aren't like me. I was so frustrated with how the week went and even that past hour. I wanted to ditch the whole plan and just go home.

I knew I couldn't though. I had craved and wanted a Bloody Mary so much. There was no way I was going to let the shoe mishap, the cancelled date, and the other dates that were actually happening win. I knew I was so much stronger than that.

So after waiting longer and longer, I finally asked the hostess what was up. Why hadn't I been seated yet? They had indeed tried buzzing that black brick while I was gone, but I was too far away for it to work. Then they continued on down the list. They finally were able to sit me outside on the patio. And boy, did I order that Bloody Mary and even a salad.

On that summer Friday night, I sat a table by myself among tables of couples and girls with their best friends as I caught up on messages. Messages from friends in different states. No matter if I am physically alone, I always have friends across the US in the palm in my hand. That evening, I was giving my input on wedding outfit ideas for a couple of my close guy friends miles away.

I took my notebook out of my purse, grabbed a pen, and started writing and brainstorming ideas for my blog while I sat at the table eating and drinking to my delight.

I already knew this would be good writing material.#NeverADullMoment

The night I got my damn Bloody Mary

Unboxing Our Social Causes

I like people.

As I have grown and dabbled in “the real world,” I know other humans that would cringe or think I am crazy to actually like and enjoy people.

I also care.

Put those two statements together and you have me declaring that I care about people.

My high school and college experiences and beyond have shown me that diversity is important to me, anyone should be able to love whomever they want to freely, and that girl power is awesome.

As a little girl, I didn’t exactly pick social causes and human rights issues that I would care about. Experiences and people influenced me.

Actor, Matt McGorry wrote an article, "How Becoming A Feminist Felt Like Falling In Love" for Cosmopolitan and explains how he unexpectedly became a feminist.

"Much like finding someone to love, you can't really know what to look for in a social cause until it crosses your path. You can use all the words that you want to describe what you're looking for, but at the end of the day, when you find the right one at the right point in your life, you'll know."

That’s how I felt when I eventually found myself leading an organization for women that strongly aligned with being a feminist. I barely knew what it meant to be a feminist, but I was embodying it more and more whether I knew it or not.

While I have accepted and have been labeled a feminist by others, I have recently been pondering and liking the idea of taking on the role of a humanist.

Humanist – (n.) a person with a strong concern for human welfare, values, and dignity.

Sarah Jessica Parker explains it beautifully in her interview for the August issue of Cosmopolitan.

“As [playwriting] Wendy Wasserstein would say, I’m a humanist. I’m enormously appreciative of the work that my mother’s generation did. We are the beneficiaries of a lot of disappointment, heartache, discouragement, and misunderstanding. But I see a lot of people trying to sort out their roles. People of color, gays, lesbians, and transgenders who are carving out this space. I’m not spitting in the face or being lazy about what still needs to be done – but I don’t think it’s just women anymore. We would be so enormously powerful if it were a humanist movement.”

I’ve endured a lot of pain and grief as an ally to African-Americans and the LGBT communities because I have seen circumstances impact people in my personal life. I’ve cried when they have been discriminated, disrespected, and bullied. And I’ve tried to provide love, support, a voice, and my words.

I read the frustrated posts from my fellow classmates and Sumner alumni when it came to Ferguson and the #BlackLivesMatter movement.

I have listened to struggles gay and lesbian couples have endured from not being treated equally compared to other couples.

And man, do I know quite a few beautiful gay African-American men with raw talents and fabulous souls. In our society, you would think they have two big “disadvantages.” And that’s a shame.

This is what I want people to start thinking about. Taking on a humanist point of view. Where you aren’t just boxed into one movement. 

I cried over and over the day the Supreme Court ruled gay marriage to be legal in all 50 states for multiple reasons. I was beyond thrilled that the day finally came and a lot sooner than I had imagined. But soon after, I was writing in defense of a dear gay friend on Facebook when an African-American past classmate of ours was not exactly being supportive.

My heart was breaking to think that someone who has been wrestling with the issues in the African-American community wasn’t being positive about a major breakthrough in another community that has also struggled and battled through the years. It had to be turned into a comparison of who has endured the most pain and fought the bigger battles.

We as people have become great at comparing apples to oranges. We are good at pointing fingers. Imagine what we could do if we spent that time on positive energy and change.

Let’s cross over the fences of our boxes to our neighbors and hug them when they feel defeated and give them a high-five when they achieve a victory. The warmth and love should feel comforting whether it’s coming from a person of a different color, sexual orientation, or man.

A good friend of mine once told me, “I also can't even describe how phenomenal you are for even caring about the things that you don't have to.” That had never occurred to me.

Matt McGorry explains this position well:

“Even now, I acknowledge that my own privilege affords me the luxury of this cushy and positive outlook on fighting inequalities and injustices. I have the choice to confront these issues — they aren't implicit in my life due to my gender, the color of my skin, my sexual preference, or any other parts of who I am as a person.”

I may get looked at for being the girl that doesn’t have to worry about other people’s battles and that it’s easy for me to cheer while on the sidelines. But it’s not. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I may have an upper hand compared to some of my friends. It’s not fun for me to see my friends hurt. And I also don’t forget that I am a woman and still experience my own inequalities and discrimination based on my gender.

But for those that are privileged for whatever reason they may be, I encourage you to use your privileges for the good of others. Put it to use. You may not know what you are capable of doing and how much you can make an impact on other people’s lives even if it’s as simple as providing a listening ear or showing up for someone else.

My ears are listening. My eyes are reading. My heart is feeling. My humanist yard is open.

Filled with love, from a big-hearted ally,

Sunday Sprinkle: (A Sketch)

This is a sketch of a poem I started earlier this year. I wanted to show you all the starting points. I hope to eventually add to this and play with more nature-like comparisons. Once it is revised and polished, you can see the differences and evolution of the poem. 

Title is still yet to be imagined

You're a big gulp of fresh air.
The kind after a spring rain that lasts all day.
When the lungs are woken up from winter.

You're the breath that's caught
after stepping out of the car for the night.
When you look up at the sky sprinkled with stars.

You're the vines I want to get tangled up in.
The ones that grow together.

Sunday Sprinkle: 'Round Midnight by Kim Addonizio

Poem by Kim Addonizio

'Round Midnight 

In the book I’m reading: hard rain,
spike heels on pavement,
a man waiting in a rented room

to draw a woman down onto his bed.
She’s the wrong woman,
she’s a car wreck in a silk dress

and he can’t wait to touch her.
No plot without desire,
the more desperate the better.

I look up to find that here, too,
it’s raining. And now that I’m back
in my own quiet life

I feel like a character who’s barely
been imagined yet, just a name
wearing a faded T-shirt,

reaching for her glass of cold wine.
If only the river would surge into the streets,
if only a tree would uproot itself

or the roof fly off in a funnel of black wind.
Such is my life: A minute ago I was happy,
immersed in a book. Now I feel misery

only violence could cure. Now
I have to invent a story
to drag me out into the city,

toward music and grainy light
and the wrong men, I have to discover
what it is that I want

And who I’m going to have to hurt to get it.

Black & Veatch 100 Year Anniversary Celebration

9:00AM on the first day of May,

I sat in a modern type chair in the new Rodman Innovation Pavilion at Black & Veatch. I was wearing a new outfit from Express and black heels from Target that easily made me feel fabulous.

I was nervous.

I checked my phone again. I was anxiously waiting for my new boss to come get me from the lobby and whisk me away to my new floor and my first cubicle ever.

An email notification appeared on my phone's screen. And then another popped up right after. I had my first meeting at 10AM and another at 11AM.

I still hadn't even seen my desk yet.

I didn't get to dip a toe in or ease my body into the waters of corporate life. I was shoved in. 

I needed to learn how to swim fast. 

The 9 o'clock hour was a blurred rush of office supplies and computer setup before my first meeting in which I sat at a large table in a conference room with a few glass walls. I immediately felt like I was sitting in an episode of Mad Men as our client walked in bearing cupcakes and a formal presentation on what they had to offer us.

They were going to be helping us with the planning, set up, logistics, contracts, and so much more in between for the 100 year anniversary celebration at Black & Veatch World Headquarters.

More times than I can count, I struggled to wrap my head around the idea that my job at the moment was solely focused on this one event and that I was communicating with close to 100 offices across the globe to ensure they held their own celebration as well.

Emails were sent to Australia, to South Africa, to Russia, to Saudi Arabia, the United Kingdom and more. 

A little over 3 months later, the event came to life. The maps and the diagrams and the layouts were no longer on just paper and sent in emails and discussed in meetings. I watched a man on stilts entertain kids, ate from one of the 28 food trucks, danced to the live band, and wondered among 6,000 guests in attendance.

I couldn't have been more thankful for the shove and learning how to swim and keep going in my first corporate job. I got to be part of a team and meet new people. The Excel sheets, stress, last minute changes, meetings, details were all right before my eyes. I learned what my 23-year-old-self could be capable of.

I sat at a picnic table and listened to the CEO tell the crowd, "The sun never sets on Black & Veatch today"as he explained that celebrations would start in Melbourne and end in San Francisco.

A highlight from the event was having Ed Eilert, Johnson County chair, in attendance. He is an Emporia State alum and was part of the Blue Key charter class back in the 60's and inducted into the Hall of Fame. He was at ESU when I was inducted at the re-charter ceremony in 2012. We were able to connect and chat quite a bit about my role at Black & Veatch, the event, and Emporia State. 

Ed Eilert and I at the B&V 100 Anniversary event

The weather was perfect and a classic Kansas sunset made an appearance as the event was winding down. By the time I was about to leave, it was already dark and I grabbed my things from the front desk of the Rodman Innovation Pavilion. Where I once was nervous, I was now relieved, tired, and a huge event for a global corporation was now under my belt. 

You can also read about the event here and here. Want to know more about Black & Veatch? Watch this really cool video!

Apartment Life: My Nook & Gallery Wall

This might be one of my favorite parts of my room.

Shortly before finding our apartment, I had come across this blog post on "But First, Coffee," which sparked my inspiration to create a corner in my new room that would be for writing, reading, and relaxing. 

I had a lot of fun finding different pieces that would be included in my gallery wall. I had never heard of the term "gallery wall," until I finally used Pinterest for what it actually exists for and stumbled upon this blog post, which stoked my creative sparks. 

I wanted a variety of things to be included on my wall. Things that would inspire me, make me smile, remind me of things, and be quirky and fabulous all the same. I was excited to find pieces from various places. I also wanted the frames to be different varieties. The black framed "Keep It Real" is actually glittery, but doesn't show well in the picture. The Sex & The City frame is a 3D acrylic frame. A cool effect that also ties in with my acrylic desk chair.

To hang them up, I first brainstormed by placing and sorting them on the ground as a way to start to get a vision going. I wanted a balance between colors and then it turned into different themes between the two walls, which was a nice added bonus. I pretty much free handed and eye balled when I hung everything up. It was nice to get messy and not so perfectly lined up. One of the cool aspects of gallery walls.

This wall reminds me to be myself, to keep it real, and also represents family and friendship, which I cherish dearly. And it might also remind me to be fabulous and funny too! (A great combo in my book)

• The toucan bird and "Don't quit your day dreams" quote - Hobby Lobby
• Keep It Real artwork - Shop Ban.do
• Sex & The City picture - Amazon
• Cats and Sprinkles artwork - Just Daydreaming (a small business from the UK!)

Can I tell you how much I love this chair?! I fell in love pretty easily. It was grey, which was in my color palette I wanted to work with and the studding gives it that extra dash of style that makes it me. I found it Nebraska Furniture Mart. The white pillow is probably the best pillow I have ever met in my life to date. It is super duper soft, plush, and a larger size for a throw pillow. The black pillow accents it very well with sequence and beading to give the whole look a touch of sparkle. Both pillows were from Pier 1. (The black one was on clearance for $9.95!) One thing that I have liked about the chair so far is that Anna and friends will sit in it when they visit me in my room. :) 

The wall containing "Don't Quit Your Day Dreams" also includes my picture from graduating college, our class picture from the re-chartering of Blue Key, my Blue Key certificate, as well as my I'm So Glam I Sweat Glitter decoration I got for a birthday present a couple years ago. This wall has a theme of chasing your dreams, but also remembering that it takes hard work. And you just might break a sweat doing it!

Needless to say, I am in love with my cozy little nook.

Sunday Sprinkle: Charmed Drawings

This poem is an old favorite of mine. I wrote it as an exercise and practice for myself while I was taking poetry classes in college. It's an imitation poem of Kim Addonizio's "A Childhood" from her book, Tell Me. The lines follow a specific ABCD pattern and are repeated in different ways. It was really fun to follow such a narrow structure with repetition while trying to show a story. 

Charmed Drawings

We walked home under the stars

after a late night at the bars.

He charms me

the way he always does.

After a late night at the bars

people let their bodies and mouths run free

the way he always did.

I don’t know what draws me to him.

People let their mouths run free.

I have to figure out what to believe

and what draws me to him.

He weakens me.

I try to figure out what to believe.

I wonder if he even likes me.

He weakened me

and I decide to go home with him.

I wonder if he even likes me.

I kiss him anyway.

After all, I went home with him

because I’m drawn to him.

I kiss him anyway

because he charmed me

because he knew I’m drawn to him

when we walked home under the stars.

Rachel Ramble: Bubble Baths & Stress Fests

Wait. It's already the 3rd of August?

Currently: Singing to the Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga Cheek to Cheek album while I type.

I am pretty much settled into the new place now (finally) and now we are one week and a day-ish away from the big event at work! (holy smokes)

You can imagine with the celebration right on the horizon, I have been living in a stress fest and here are some results of that stress fest:

• I have been trying to relax when I can so I asked my lovely Facebook friends for recommendations for bubble bath. And of course, they delivered. I ended up getting bubbles from Lush cosmetics. I love that the blue one was named Dorothy and was described to take you "Somewhere over the Lush rainbow." (clever)
• Bee tee dubs...Bath & Body Works has a couple new lines of candles out and it was hard to pick just one two.

• I've been working really hard and also haven't bought new tennis shoes in over a year (it's about time for new ones anyway), so I treated myself to new kicks. Day dreaming of future beautiful runs and sweat sessions at the gym.

• Anna and I ordered take out cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory and picked it up in our sweatpants.
• I started reading Gala Darling's Radical Self Love book and I loved this quote so much, I tweeted it. 

You may think that you want to look different, but what you really want is to feel different. 

And then Gala Darling favorited and retweeted it and I might have freaked out just a little and tweeted about how ecstatic I was that she did that and then she favorited that too so it became a vicious cycle of excitement. It was a lot to handle in just a few minutes.

The last couple weeks have consisted of:

Two Sporting KC games | Westport nights | Trying a new coffee shop | New food places | Visits from out of town friends | Bubble baths | Glitter nail polish | Big Brother | A lot of work | Pretty Kansas sunsets | My nephew turning 16

Current obsessions: My new super duper soft blanket from Target & V8 tomato juice

Just did some air piano. 

Sunday Sprinkle: Redecorate

This piece is from November 2013. I remember the process of creating this. It took a weekend to crank this out and the whole time drafting and revising, I only listened to Say Something by A Great Big World featuring Christina Aguilera. I like thinking about the writing process and the weird things that spark our creativity. It's also fascinating how a song can put a visual in your mind and heart through your ears. 

Redecorate 

I sit alone with my knees to my chest.

Sitting alone in my heart. It’s big.

And it’s turning cold.

The posters of my past hang on its walls.

They’re starting to crumple & peel away too.

It’s silent. Colors fading.

It feels empty. I’m empty.

I look around at the dust.

The sea of gray all over.

The floor is worn from the people that have come through.

I graze it with my hand thinking about all the possibilities we had

and the moments that made me believe it might be something.

Hurt shows up too.

I throw one of their t-shirts across the room.

It slides against the floor.

I watch it go away like they all did.

I lay down on my side and let my head touch the holy ground.

I forgot it was okay to cry here.

I had almost forgotten how to.

I let go. I let them all go.

I’m waiting for someone to knock.

I’m waiting for someone to stay.

Someone to help me redecorate.