Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Fire

I am sitting on my floor in my room and I can't seem to stop crying. It's reminding me of the night in high school when I sat on the bathroom floor across from my Forensics coach and a couple teammates who were also fellow classmates as we cried because we couldn't escape discrimination again as a team. We were at Blue Valley North, our biggest rival, and where discrimination was common for my teammates because of the color of their skin. Most of them were African-American.

Most people know I graduated from Sumner Academy in Kansas City, KS where I was a minority. My life was filled with culture, raw talent, and beautiful people of many races. I was very involved in high school and part of a team whether it was volleyball, choir, and forensics. And when we traveled and went to other places, I saw the discrimination and heard the comments. But I felt it too because I was part of their team, these were my classmates, and my friends.

I would feel the heat of the discrimination fire on my white skin.

I've felt it even in Emporia when fellow Sumner friends struggled as the minority in certain situations. I saw the diversity issues and I experienced the culture shock.

I still hear the ignorance.
And it hits me.

My heart is heavy from the Ferguson issue. I still have my Sumner friends as Facebook friends and I follow some on Twitter and Instagram. I am reading and consumed by their outrage, frustration, and hurt. The same forensics coach and one of those classmates from above have posted about their worry for their own sons of color. It's a real issue and I am pained to know that these great people have to live with this burden. Because of what? They still haven't escaped this discrimination years later.

Right now I am feeling the heat of the fires on my white skin. I am aching and thinking of the beautiful people that have to live with this.

I don't even have an opinion on the Michael Brown case right now. I don't know what was right and what was wrong. I just know the pain that is being felt among people is wrong. It's not fair. I feel sickened and maybe even undeserving to have this "white privilege" they've been talking about. Why do I get this because I was born with white skin? Why can't they be treated fairly too?

I'm saddened and I am still crying as I type this. I'm reading and listening. I promise to continue to stand up for diversity and speak up about the issues still faced today. And I am hoping one day I won't feel the heat on my white skin anymore and the fire will be simmered.

From a Sumner Sabre,
Rachel
Love you

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