Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Why Relationships Need to Drop the "Other Half" Talk

You have seen it. In fact, I am certain I have done it. Maybe you have done it too or know a friend that has been guilty of the act. It’s that thing when you profess someone as your other half and sometimes even worse, your better half. And it usually takes place on social media, typically in a caption under a picture with the two of you smiling. It’s always happy, with a dash of mushy, and sometimes, borderline over the top.

I committed the crime while I was in my high school relationship. It was when I was young, naïve, and still unsure of my own identity and self as a person. I didn’t know what I was doing. But, does anyone really know what they are doing in that time in their life?

Once I got in the trenches of the single life and started to learn the way of independence and self-love, I became more aware of this term, “other half.” It rubbed me the wrong way. I started to notice pictures of couples gushing about their significant others and how they were their “other half.” The notion was becoming quite irritating.

When I was in a relationship again after a long stint of being single, I began to realize that when I was thinking about him, the “other half” phrase was trying hard to make its way through. As if this was some kind of social norm. It wanted to be used as a descriptor for him. I would push it off immediately and ask it, “Then what was I before? Was I not complete as my single self?” Instead, I would think of him as a teammate or a beautiful accessory that made my life even better.

As I am single again and continue to learn more about relationships and myself, the “other half” phrase gets that much more annoying. I refuse to think of myself as an incomplete being right now. What a horrible idea. This phrase makes you think that we as people can’t live and function without a counterpart of a person. I can tell you right now, I am living, breathing, and loving all on my own. I’ve been perfectly able to go on adventures, have fun, and be successful regardless of having a partner right by my side.

However, when the “other” is exchanged for “better,” I get a bit sickened. It makes me uneasy. It’s an example of negative self-talk and possible low self-esteem. I am for the relationship with someone that makes you and pushes you to be a better person. Not someone you think is better than you. I think if I were in a relationship and my boyfriend proclaimed me as his, “better half,” I wouldn’t like it. The relationship doesn’t seem even and mutual. I would feel the pressure of being the “good one.”

Yes, there are two people in a relationship, but in this case, I don’t think two halves make a whole. I believe two people make a team. I don’t want my peers to think that if they are single, they aren’t complete and their life isn’t fabulous as is.

I think this phrase is one of those things we don’t really take into account what we are even saying and what it truly means. It is a saying that has been tied to relationships, romantic stories, and lovey-dovey cards we give to each other. It is another concept in which we don’t take the time to think about and what it does to others and ourselves.

So, I encourage everyone to drop this “other half” idea and start thinking about what your significant other really is to you. We can be complete individuals and live complete beautiful lives. It’s just an extra sparkle, an added bonus, or a beautiful accessory that compliments you well when you have someone with you along for the ride.

Sparkle&Shine.
Rachel
@theglitterylife
facebook.com/glitterandthegirlygirl


No comments:

Post a Comment