Boys

Boys

This is a topic that I have thought about blogging about for awhile. It's just a complicated and complex subject. Especially for me as I have been trying to figure out how to talk, communicate, date, and hang out with them since I have become single. The last time I had been single was my sophomore year of high school and when I became single again, was my sophomore year of college. BIG difference. So I have been learning as I go.

Meeting new people and trying to engage in conversation has been something I have tried to figure out and do. It's convenient if you have a class with a guy you are attracted to because you share a common thing. One of the biggest frustrations I deal with is when you see a cute guy at the gym because they are either playing basketball with friends, working out and most likely have their headphones in. So how do you initiate anything and it's frustrating if you only see them there or that might the only time you do see them. 

I've had my fair share of unique ways guys have started talking to me. When I got my iPhone over spring break, the guy that set up my phone had used his work phone to send a text and call to make sure it was working right. Later that night he texted me to make sure I was doing okay with my phone which lead into conversation. One clever thing that still makes me smile when thinking about it was a time when I was talking to a guy on Facebook the night I created my blog. I told him about the blog I had just started and sent him a link to it. He saw on my description that I encouraged people to send me an email with advice, suggestions, questions, anything. I soon had an email from him on that account asking me out on a date. I loved that he did that because it showed that he actually went to my blog and had to have read it to have found the email and then he took time to email me that. Will never forget that!

With technology and social media, I have noticed that a new way to get noticed by someone is to start "liking" their things on Facebook. This has been a pattern that I have caught on to and take into consideration. Lately, I have been able to tell when guys have kind of "creeped" on my Facebook page.

One of the cleverest, but kind of cheesy things a guy has done: He asked me for my number over Facebook chat. I gave it to him and then he told me not to expect for him to text me anytime soon. Not even tomorrow or the next day because it had to be spontaneous and awesome like the conversation we just had. He really didn't text me after a couple days. 

I still haven't been able to understand why guys stop talking to me though. For no reason. Or at least they don't give me a reason. I hung out with somebody and we seemed to have a good time. Not long after, he wouldn't reply to my texts for a couple days. Then finally he told me a relationship wasn't what he needed. Which was fine because I wasn't ready for a relationship at the time and I told him that. I asked if we could still hang out and talk like we had been and he agreed and even told me I was fun to hang out with. He eventually stopped talking to me and if I texted him now, he probably wouldn't reply. We were honest with each other and he told me he had fun with me and agreed to hang out and talk, but did the opposite. Why? 

I've had a couple guys text me for about a couple days and seem really interested in me and they are getting to know me and then I won't hear from them again. They just stop. No reason. That's been a frustrating aspect of trying to talk to guys.

Another frustrating thing, finding a guy that I can have great and long conversations with, but I don't feel a spark. I can't feel the same way back. There have been a couple guys that I had hung out with and even gone on a date with that I got along with really well and had great conversations with, but I didn't feel that spark, the physical attraction. I believe you got to have that there if there is going to be any kind of relationship down the road. It sucks because I know they were great guys and really liked, but I can't help who I am attracted to. And I can't go on with them if I don't feel the same way. It also sucks when it is vice versa. I have chased after guys that didn't really deserve my time!

There has been times where guys can get overwhelming to me. There have been times where multiple will come at once or a guy will pour his heart out. This is when I retreat. When I want to get away from boys for awhile. Or when they all seem to be d-bags. I retreat. There was a time where I wouldn't get a text from a male for a couple days straight.

There have been many times I have thought that I might intimidate boys. I have asked a couple. One told me that I can be and that normally girls don't make him nervous, but I do. Another told me no, just only when I am all dressed up and what not. Sometimes I want to tweet or something and ask. Am I intimidating? It makes me want to reassure boys that really I am kind, I am not snobby, and really shouldn't be that intimidating! I guess it can be flattering in a way?

Another thing I have wanted to tweet: "I dare a boy to take me on a date." 

I have concluded that boys my age must not believe in dates anymore or know how to take a girl on one. I have been single for over half a year and have been on ONE official date really. But the guy was 25 so it kind of shows that older guys know how to do it, but what about guys my age? It's all about "hanging out." Go to each other's places and talk, watch tv, make food, watch movies. I am totally fine with hanging out and I enjoy hanging out with a nice guy, but sometimes girls like to go out. On dates. 

One thing I did tweet, are guys not attracted to brunettes anymore? My ex left me for a blonde, a guy I had liked, his ex before he started talking to me is blonde, one guy I talked to preferred blondes and so on. This kind of made me bitter at one point, but it makes me embrace my long brunette hair even more! Team brunette all the way!

I have been asked if I am ticklish multiple times. I believe guys use this tickling tactic as a way to get closer to girls and even have the possibility of touching them somehow in a not as creepy way to them. Yes, I am ticklish, and no, it really isn't that fun for me to be tickled.

It amazes me that a guy can kiss me with feeling, but not really mean much by it.

Boys are confusing. And they will tell you that girls are confusing too. I just ask for guys to be straight up with me and to not lead me on. It's happened before. I have been trying to learn to go with the flow. I am beginning to not be surprised when one will show up randomly from the past or when a guy will just disappear without any explanation. I try to enjoy the times I do get to "hang out" with them and cherish the memories. Learn from mistakes and have some be lessons learned. I get to know them and I learn what I want and don't want. I guess that is what single life is kind of about right? Learning what you want and don't want. Having fun? There has been fun moments, but there are times I miss being in a relationship. Am I close to being in one right now? Nope. Especially with summer, it is hard to start anything now. I am just enjoying my time, the conversations, and the hang outs. Eventually, I will go on a date again. I have been practicing my patience and it's been definitely getting some practice. :)

Britney Spears ends her song, "Boys" with "can't live with them, can't live without them." I don't know about all that. But I have faith that guys can come through. I know you guys can be clever and treat girls right. I am learning to figure you guys out. If anyone wants to offer feedback, advice, or the like. Email me, text me, message me on facebook, tweet me, whatever!

I hope I didn't offend any of you, just my observations on my journey as a single lady! :)

Sparkle & Shine,

Rachel